As I go through the tweets containing #whyididntreport and all of the stories about sexual assault going around right now, I see a lot of different experiences. All of them are hard to read and face, but all of them have one thing in common - strength. Since the hashtag has gained traction and I have seen people I know, admire, and respect face their truth, I have considered what I would say in my own #whyididntreport tweet. So, consider this article my contribution to the #whyididntreport movement, along with my thank you letter to all of those who have shared their stories. To all those who have told their stories on Twitter or elsewhere, to the women in the Bill Cosby case who saw their assaulter sentenced to prison after years of silence, and to those like Dr. Christine Blasey Ford ready to speak their truth despite how much people wish for you to stay silent or shame you, thank you for giving me the strength to write this article.
The hardest thing to do when it comes to assault is to face that it even happened in the first place. I know that for me personally, coming to terms with the truth enough to tell people I loved and cared about was the hardest thing about the situation. I was afraid of what they would think about me when I admitted the truth. I went through so many feelings that I am sure others in my position have felt: shame, guilt, and fear. Hiding what has happened seems like the safe option because admitting what happened makes the horrible truth more real than you want it to be. #Whyididntreport has made the truth heard, and in doing so has taken all that shame, guilt, and fear and replaced it all with pure strength. For so many, myself included, not reporting felt like saving ourselves from the scrutiny and the shame people place on you for having gone through what happened. Some people like to think they know what happened, that the victim is to blame because of how they dressed, acted, or what they said, as if they don't already blame themselves enough already.
Victims are finally truly being heard, however, and our testimonies and stories cannot just be thrown away or attributed to a short skirt or a flirty nature.
For victims, #whyididntreport has gotten rid of shame, fear, and guilt once and for all. People's stories are out there and with them, all of the pain of hiding the truth has gone out with them.
#Whyididntreport has also given power to those seeking to understand sexual assault. The movement has put names and faces to all those statistics we hear about sexual assault, and people are starting to understand that there are people in their life, loved ones, who have experienced the pain of assault but have remained silent. In this, it seems people are starting to understand there is more to assault than just instant assumptions of victim blaming; there is a dark and horrible truth to face. There are stories of people who were assaulted when they were far too young or in situations where they were told reporting would create repercussions for themselves and their loved ones. In reading these truths, those who may not have experienced assault or fully understand it can come to see what our culture's old victim blaming attitude has done to victims and begin work for change.
Our world and its attitudes will not change because of one hashtag. As we're seeing with the Kavanaugh nomination, there are still those who wish to blame the victim or assume that because the accused says it didn't happen means it could not have happened. There are so many dimensions to sexual assault, and even though I have personally gotten over my own experience, I still struggle to write about them in great detail. However, this movement is one of great support, and seeing victims no longer feel ashamed to speak their truth has given me the push to speak my own, however minimally. I will forever live with the fact of what happened to me, and if you were curious, #whyididntreport is because I was afraid. But I am not afraid anymore, and I am proud to stand with the brave men and women who have brought their truth to the light, and in doing so have allowed me to do the same.
