I walked into your office with the mindset that I was going to sit across from you for our 60-minute session and simply nod my head to your numerous questions and that would be that. I had already been through this trial three times before with three different therapists and I didn't expect you to be any different.
That was six years ago and you're still helping me overcome the hurdles that are thrown in my direction.
I'm not going to say that I knew from day one that you were going to 'get me' but it was probably within the first month that I knew you were different. Maybe it was the fact that when I told you not to ask me how a situation made me feel that you actually listened and never once asked me. Or maybe it was because you responded to my sarcastic answers with an even more witty question. Or maybe, just maybe, you knew what you were doing.
It all started when I was going through all of my concussions and I was struggling with being isolated. I went through a time of having suicidal thoughts because I felt like there would never be a light at the end of the tunnel. I think that may have been the first time that you hinted at the idea that I could be a bit dramatic.
You held me accountable when it was hard for me to admit that I was wrong.
You reminded me that that voice inside my head that told me that I wasn't good enough was, in fact, a liar.
You apologized for events that happened before you even knew me with people you had never met before.
You were honest with me.
You helped me through coming to terms with my anxiety. With my depression.
You guided me through my memories so that I could remember events that were hurting me without me even knowing that they existed.
You sat silently while I cried when I realized who assaulted me.
You never once made me feel like I was inferior. You never made me think that something was wrong with me.
You pushed me when I needed the extra shove but you held me back when I was close to jumping off a cliff.
I'm here now because of you and that deserves more than what I have to offer which is a simple 'thank you'.
Thank you for allowing me to laugh through my pain. Thank you for allowing me to cry without feeling judged. Thank you for piecing together the blurry areas in my memories.
But most of all, thank you for being real with me when no one else would be.