I remember the day I got the email notifying me that the decision of getting into my top choice college was waiting for me. That entire day I felt sick to my stomach with nerves. My entire school year I had made a plan of what my life would be like once I got in, and how I would make my new life at my dream college. I refused to open the decision email until later that night right after I had performed in our school's first showing of "Mary Poppins," and even then I was a little bit hesitant. I wasn't ready to get the possible answer of no, as I had let myself fall in love with this school, and I didn't want to go anywhere else.
I still had to open it, however. The anticipation was way too high. Slowly, I entered my information to log in and get the final decision that determined my future. The page slowly began to load, and my entire body cringed. This was it.
Once the page opened, I slowly began to read. My eyes read the words they never wanted to see: "we regret to inform you that we are unable to admit you into the class of 2019." For a second, I thought I had misread the letter, but I hadn't. Tears started to form in my eyes, and I didn't know what I was going to do. I never even considered the other schools I applied to. Those who were with me assured me that this was for the best, and better opportunities were yet to come. I didn't believe them then, but I sure do now. Getting that rejection letter was a huge blessing in disguise.
At first, it seemed more like a curse than anything. I had to decide where I wanted to go, and I didn't have a whole lot of time. I wasn't overly enthusiastic about any of my choices, but I managed to narrow it down to two: University of Vermont and St. Lawrence University.
The day I absolutely had to make a choice, I went around asking everyone what they thought I should do. Part of me wanted to stay in my home state and have a safety net knowing a few of my friends would be on the same campus as me, and part of me wanted to go for something out of my comfort zone. Another huge part of it was the affordability, of course, but I didn't want to make my choice just based off of that.
I hadn't really heard much about St. Lawrence, even after I applied. I honestly only wound up applying because one of my friends did, and never really saw it as a potential college I would attend. However, when I got that huge acceptance package in the mail, I ran outside shouting with glee. I didn't quite know it yet, but this place was going to be my home for the next four years.
The night I had to make the choice between UVM and St Lawrence was a long one. I sat on my bed, staring at the papers that I had to sign. I made a pros and cons list like every human being would do in this situation for each college, and I kept messaging every single one of my friends, hoping I would make the right choice. I finally just grabbed the forms for St. Lawrence, filled them out and said, "I hope I'm making the right choice." Little did I know I was making the perfect choice.
The first few days on campus I wasn't overly thrilled. I had fell in love with my top choice school, and I didn't think anything would ever be able to replace it. As time progressed however, I began to meet new people and fell in love with my new home.
If my top choice school had accepted me, I would have never found where I truly belong. I would have gone there and may have been happy for a little while, but in the long run, I would have been miserable. At St. Lawrence, everyone is super friendly and open to conversation and there when you need help. This type of atmosphere did not exist where I intended on going, but now that I have that, I never want to give it up. I have built a family at St. Lawrence, and I could not be more thankful for the rejection I thought was the end of the world.
It wasn't the end. It was the exact opposite. It was only the beginning to four years of my life I will be able to cherish forever. It was the beginning of a place I could be proud to be. So thank you for that rejection letter. You knew what I needed more than I did, and I am extremely grateful.
