A Thank You to My Second Mom(s)

A Thank You to My Second Mom(s)

When I started school I realized that blood doesn't make you family.
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Split families has become a lot more common however whenever someone hears that the parents are split, they assume that the mom is the one taking care of the kids. That wasn't the case for me.

My dad was both parents for me growing up; he played the mom and the dad role. He was there to talk to me about every crush I had or every puberty thing that happened to me growing up. He even bought me flowers and took me out to eat as well as went into the store himself to buy me pads when I got my first period.

He learned how to braid hair when I was younger and learned all the new fashion trends so I would be on top of it. Every shopping spree felt like I was with my mom and not my dad. He took on both roles with such grace and speed that I never felt I was missing out on anything.

However the older I got, the more abandoned I felt. Sure, I saw her every once in awhile but a majority of the time she always called and cancelled. It got to a point where when I was about 4 or 5 she called and told me that we'd go to the beach but I never told my dad because I knew she would cancel and sure enough she did.

Around that point is where I started to wonder why. Why wasn't I good enough and why didn't my mom want to spend time with me?

But then I started school and I realized that blood doesn't make you family.

My grade school and middle school mom was my best friends mom; I originally met her through soccer and then we ended up going to the same school. She bought me presents every Christmas like I was her own kid and even threw me a birthday party when I was 7. She showed up to every sporting event even when her daughter wasn't playing to cheer me on and support me. She even joined the snack sign up list stating she was my mom for softball for a few years. I went to her for everything. Yes, my dad was always there and I told him everything as well, but it was nice having that female connection. Someone I could look up to and say I wanted to be like. She taught me how to cook and how to braid hair. She even taught me how to apply makeup when I became old enough.

Like everything though, once 8th grade came and went we ended up going to different high school and drifted apart so I no longer had my second mom. I was heartbroken. It was like going through that abandonment as a kid all over again. Then I met my high school best friend.

My high school mom wasn't so much as the teaching mom but the loving mom. When I went through my first relationship she was always all ears for every up and down and she was there during my first break up. She met my boyfriends in high school before my dad did. I spent just as much time in their house as I did in mine for those four years. She knew about every homework assignment and test and would always wish me luck before one or congratulate me after doing well. She showed up to my hockey games for the two years I played in high school before my concussions and helped take care of me through them. She always cooked my favorite meals when I was over and even made me desserts and got me small gifts for special occasions.

Just like middle school, her and I went our separate ways for college. This time was easier though. I was more independent and didn't feel the need for a mom figure anymore. I knew I was going to be okay just like that little 4 year old knew she didn't really need her mom because she had so many woman around her who loved her. Woman who filled in for "bring your mom" events and showed up for everything that meant something to me.

But I still ended up with an amazing college mom. Definitely one of my favorites. The cool fun mom. The mom that's more of your friend than your mom. The one you can cuss around and talk shit with. The one that will make fun of you constantly just because she can. Yet will buy you stuff to make you feel better. Always listens when you're panicking and is always there to cry on when you're sad.

I always thought that I needed my mom, that I was so different and that my life would be better if I had a normal family however I realize that's not true. I had plenty of moms throughout my life even if I never really had my biological one.

So this is a thank you to my second moms.

Thank you for always being there for every sporting event, school concert, play, and even graduation. For always cheering me on even when your own daughter wasn't present.

Thank you for being so supportive. You always listened to me whenever I needed anything and always helped me to find the correct way. For helping me find the best path for me and helping me get through the hard times.

Thank you for the laughs. I can't thank you enough for all the fun enjoyable times that we had together. I will forever cherish all those movie nights, dinners, shopping sprees, bonfires, and even car rides. My time spent with you was always so full of joy that I'm glad I was able to experience.

Thank you for the food. I was able to experience meals cooked by a mom even though my dad was an amazing cook.

Thank you for loving me like your own. I never once felt like I didn't belong. I felt like I was truly your own daughter and that there was no difference. I never once felt like I was abandoned; I felt nothing but love.

I'm sure my life would be different had my parents stayed together but I am extremely happy with how my life is now. I will always wish my real mom acted more like my mom but I wouldn't trade all the second and more real moms I was able to experience throughout my years.

So thank you, second moms, for being some of the best things to ever happen to my life.

Cover Image Credit: Aesome

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Dear Mom, I Hope You Know

I hope you know that I am here for you--until the very end.
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Dear Mom,

I hope you know that I appreciate you.

You are the hardest working woman I know, continuously putting your family before yourself. Thank you for doing all of the tedious jobs that no one wants to do like keeping the house in order, cooking the food, and doing the laundry. Thank you for constantly putting up with my siblings and I. Thank you for always supporting us in our interests and hobbies. Thank you for investing in our daily lives and listening to our minor problems. Thank you for always loving us unconditionally.

SEE ALSO: 51 Things My Mom Didn't Think I Was Listening To...

I hope you know I'm sorry.

I know I can be a big pain in the butt sometimes, and for that I'm sorry. I'm sorry for yelling at you, arguing with you, not listening to you, and making dumb decisions at times, but thank you for loving me anyways. Thank you for helping me stand back up, teaching me right from wrong, and pushing me to be the very best version of me.

I hope you know your love inspires me.

You live your life with a love that is contagious. Whether its nurturing love, tough love, friendly love, or romantic love, you have it all and you show it daily. The love you and Dad share is something I hope to find one day and the love you have for your family is evident in the way you constantly put us first.

I hope you know that you are my biggest role model and hero.

Ever since I was a little girl, you have been the person I have looked to in my life. You are strong, independent, confident, loving, supportive, and nurturing-- everything I strive to be as a woman and as a future mother. You give the best advice, even when I don't always take it. Though, I should know better by now because mothers always know best. Without you in my life, I honestly don't know where I'd be.

I hope you know that you are my best friend.

Not only are you my biggest cheerleader supporting me in everything I do, you are the person I talk to about everything, whether it's good or bad. I'm honestly so thankful for the relationship we share because I've had countless screwups and you literally give the best advice. Seriously, thank you for being the person I can count on at all times, at any time of the day or even night to just talk with. I mean we really do have some of the best conversations, best laughs, best cries (when needed), and the most fun watching cheesy chick flicks together or going on crazy shopping adventures.

SEE ALSO: I'm The Girl With The Cool Mom

I hope you know that I am here for you--until the very end.

I don't mean to make you cry or anything -- even though you probably already are, but I want you to know that when the time comes, I'm going to be there for you just like all of these years you've been here for me. I will be there to support you, talk with you, laugh with you, cry with you, and love you for all of my life.

Honestly, I can't really imagine my life without you -- but it doesn't matter because I wouldn't be here without you, so here's to you.

Thank you for being you.

Love you lots!

Your daughter.

Cover Image Credit: Flickr

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To My Mom Who Struggles

I threw a wrench into your life plans, but you learned better than most people about how to roll with the punches and take what life throws at you with a grain of salt.

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Dear Mom,

I've watched you struggle. You've struggled every day for a while now. Leaving you and going to college was one of the hardest things that I have ever had to do. I know that I was always your right-hand man, your therapist, your best friend, and your shoulder to cry on and I am sorry I can not be that for you all the time anymore. I am so sorry that I can not be there to help you out at the drop of a hat like I did when our crazy lives were getting just too much to bear sometimes. I wish I was not so far away. I wish that furthering my education did not have to be so far away from you, Mom.

I know there was so much more you could have and would have done if I had never come around as early as I did. Becoming a mom at sixteen definitely threw a wrench into your life plans, but you learned better than most people about how to roll with the punches and take whatever life threw at you with a grain of salt. I, also, know that raising me has been hard. As much as I wish I could say I was an easy child, I definitely was not. I pushed every boundary you set for me and then some, but you knew when to let me keep pushing or when I needed to be pulled back. For a while, I knew it seemed like you could do nothing right when it came to me because I just did not listen. I want you to know that that was not your fault. I went through things that you don't know about still to this day, but I want to thank you for sticking with me through all of the bad and somehow making it all good in the end.

As hard as it was and as much as you struggled, you did a pretty damn good job raising me and always making sure I feel loved and safe at all times. You have shaped me into the confident and respectable young woman that I am today. I want to thank you for never giving up on me even when I had given up on myself. I want you to know that our long talks about life lessons have not been forgotten and everything you have tried to teach me will stick with me for the rest of my life. You are my best friend, my rock (haha), and the person who keeps me going when I feel like college is too unbearable for me to continue. I love you so much and I hope you never forget that.

Love, Brittany

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