I want to start off by saying growing up, I was never the girl who had a bunch of friends. I wasn't the girl that squealed, I didn't like to dress up, and I certainly didn't like to play barbies. I was the girl who kind of just sat in the back and observed. That's why when I got my first real group of friends my freshmen year of high school, I was so excited. I finally had a group that I could hang out and laugh with.
That changed pretty fast, though.
My first real memory of the mean girls was during lunch right after winter break. I walked up to my table filled with my best "friends". Before I could even sit down, the Queen bee looked at me and said: "We all voted and decided you can't sit with us anymore."
What does that mean? Am I voted out? How can this happen? These girls were supposed to be my friends. My one true best friend didn't even stand up for me. She just let it happen.
I knew that high school was going to be rough and there were going to be mean girls but I never expected this.
Throughout my four years at my local high school, I was kicked out of my lunch table, made fun of because my parents were separated, gossiped about because I didn't have the newest clothes or bag, and even harassed by a grown mom on social media.
I've blocked most of the traumatic events out of my head but my mom still remembers the days I came home in tears because I had to sit in my study hall alone to eat lunch. She remembers the day that my friends all turned against me because I went on a trip with her. She remembers the days that I would dread going to school and would cry because I knew I had to.
I've never had a friend want to be friends for more than a year. I know that when we get close to that year mark, things are going to end up going downhill and I was going to be left alone again. It was a horrible feeling. It still is horrible.
I always thought that the friends you made in high school were your friends for life. I knew that there were going to be mean girls, I just didn't think the whole school would be filled with them. But, because of them, I am the person I am today.
So, To my high school mean girls,
Thank you.
While our friendship was short and sweet, I learned so many life lessons from each and every one of you. Thank you for teaching me how not to behave. Thank you for teaching me how to treat others with kindness and respect. Thank you for teaching me how to stay calm and collected on the outside even though on the inside, I'm heartbroken and terrified. Thank you for teaching me to stand up for myself.
I'm not saying that I don't think about the way I was treated because I do. I think about what went wrong and where we would be if we were still friends. Many in my situation would hold a grudge against those who treated them so poorly. I chose not to and have accepted the fact that not everyone is going to be my friend. Being bullied and made fun of made me who I am today. If you didn't treat me so poorly, I don't think I would be as strong as I am today. I don't let people walk over me and I know how to stand up for myself. If you didn't treat me the way you did, I wouldn't have met some of my best friends. They treated me with care and respect, something everyone deserves. I'm so lucky that because of you, I have met my best friends and we couldn't be closer.
So from the bottom of my heart, Thank you.
