“There is no such thing as a "broken family." Family is family, and is not determined by marriage certificates, divorce papers, and adoption documents. Families are made in the heart. The only time family becomes null is when those ties in the heart are cut. If you cut those ties, those people are not your family. If you make those ties, those people are your family. And if you hate those ties, those people will still be your family because whatever you hate will always be with you.” C. JoyBell C.
Divorce has been part of our lives for as long as I can remember. My parents separated when we were in elementary school so we don’t have very many memories of all of us together. What we do have is memories of our step-family.
For a long time I resented them-- my parents chose another family over their own. I just could not understand how anyone could choose someone else's family over their own. It took me a long time to understand that people fall out of love; that is a part of life. This letter isn’t to dwell on the past or make anyone feel bad. Instead, I want to do something I have never done before-- I want to thank my step family.
Never once coming into this new family did anyone feel uncomfortable; it just felt normal. We never once had to worry about being treated differently because everyone was treated exactly the same. Thank you for that.
From new brothers to new grandparents, things were very different, but we never actually felt “different.” We may not have been around every single day like everyone else but, when we were around, it was like we never left. We joked and laughed and were a family. Thank you for that.
Even though we did not always make things easy, you all made it easy for us. We knew no matter what we could go talk to our new brothers if something was wrong and we could always count on our new aunts and uncles to embarrass us, just like my “real” ones did. Thank you for that.
We had to adjust to the new houses and new towns just like you had to adjust to us. Just as you adjusted, we did too. We couldn’t imagine our lives without you all. You influenced us and made us who we are today. Thank you for that.
Our step nieces and nephews smile when we come into the room. They don’t even know that we aren’t “biologically” related, and no one ever goes out of their way to tell them otherwise. Thank you for that.
It is because of you all that I have come to understand the saying "family is not always about blood." You are all our family now. Actually, you were family the moment we stepped foot in the door, and you never let us forget it. Thank you for that.
You took my brother and me in and made us your own. You never hesitated; you never even second guessed us. You loved us, without us even asking. Thank you for that.
Somewhere along the road all of this happened-- we were two broken families turning into one. We were not a "step" family, just a family. Thank you for that.
