Everyday things occur that your mind either forces you to face and dissolve or it simply sweeps the problem under a rug. This is the story of how a friend taught me how to be a friend and how true friends help you clean out the bump in the rug when you can't do it on your own.
Two weeks passed and it happened again...
I woke up in the middle of the night and I knew who I needed to call.
As you grow up you meet people who change your viewpoints on life forever. Life can be fun, great, and extraordinary but every once in awhile something goes wrong and you can't just push it under the rug.
This is a story about the girl who continues to change how I view and define tragedy, love, and true friendship.
Her stunning red hair seems to shimmer with light no matter the day.
Her voice can be the most calming and soothing sound in the world but can quickly change to a powerful roar.
Her heart is beyond unique as it cares and grows beyond its capacity.
Two years ago as I sat next to her in history class I had no idea that she would be so incredibly important to me.
We sat in the back and laughed and laughed as we very openly mocked and questioned the teachers knowledge.
Around December she missed three days of school for an FFA trip. It was then, in that exact moment that it occurred to me how close we had become.
When she returned I told her how much I had missed her and she looked at me like I was stupid. I then preceded to tell her she was ugly and to go home. All in a joking way of course.
Two weeks passed and it happened again...He cheated on me and I was broken.
I walked into class with my hair in a bun, eyes swollen, and my homework incomplete.
She looked at me and asked “Did you do the homework?”
I smirked and said “No”.
She high fived me and said “HOT DOG!”.
I laughed for the first time all day.
The girl who my boyfriend cheated on me with was sitting three desks in front of me.
Everyone had heard what happened and I couldn’t stop crying.
The redhead leaned over and whispered, “I’ll kill her…”
I smiled and said, “Please do”.
I'm not sure when we became so inseparable but I couldn't imagine my life without her.
We started going on errands together and driving around for hours.
We shared life stories and I saw her for all that she was and how she became the person she is today.
Behind the astonishing smile and never ending witty comments; that were always followed with laughter, was a girl who felt unwanted, sad, and confused.
She came from a broken family and carried a broken heart around everyday.
She had had her heart torn apart and smashed but never allowed it to stop beating.
She was incredibly strong, but to this day fails to see it.
She defines herself by how others treat her, but she's more than that.
She is the girl who admires people for their kindness.
She is the girl who never stops caring no matter how much she hurts.
She is the girl who cares about her friends more than herself.
She is more than what she sees in the mirror and better than the voices that echo around in her head.
Two weeks passed and it happened again...I eventually went back to the boy who cheated on me.
She never doubted my choice like many of my other friends did.
She supported me even when he decided HE was to good for me this time.
I was destroyed again.
When I decided I couldn’t take the pain anymore and gave up hope that it could ever get better she was the only person by my side as everyone called me crazy.
She helped me put down the gun that I so deeply wanted to hear go through my head.
This girl who believed she was so useless and weak was the strongest person I know.
She let me borrow her earphones so I could block out the world.
She made sure I got home safe every night.
She woke up early to drive me to school so I wouldn’t have to walk in alone.
She hated the people who were mean to me more than I did.
She helped me back up on my feet and as I got stronger she sat back and marveled in my strength and never let me forget how far I had come.
Two years passed and it happened again...but this time it was her turn to feel broken and destroyed.
She continued to walk around with a smile.
She continued to laugh.
She continued to amaze me but she couldn’t see that.
She could only see how that boy made her feel.
Day after day I listened to how much her heart throbbed with pain.
I whispered, “I’ll kill him” and she laughed for the first time all day.
I wanted to rip him to pieces for hurting her.
I wanted to destroy him.
I had to figure out a way to make her see how astonishing she was...so I wrote her a letter.
To: My person,
Breathe, whatever you’re doing right now just take a deep breath, and another, and another. It’s the middle of the night and I just woke up but I’m no longer worrying about me...I’m worried about you. What's happening right now hurts; it hurts a lot. Some days you will feel everything at once. Other days you will feel nothing at all but you taught me that you cannot let a tragedy define you. The tragedy helps you define who’s not afraid to pick up the rug and clean out all the things you’ve been avoiding. You taught me how it feels to be loved unconditionally. You’ve taught me how to be a better person simply by being you. You’ve taught me what a real friend is...So when you allow yourself to feel worthless and when you feel like no one cares please know how incredibly angry I will be with you. I don’t get angry to hurt you. I get angry because without you, I wouldn’t be alive. You can never be anything less than phenomenal because when no one else heard me screaming for help, you did. When everyone else let go of my hand, you grabbed on. If I had one wish I could only hope that you could look in the mirror and see even a glance at what I see because,
you are beyond stunning.
You are beyond hilarious.
You are beyond smart.
You are beyond kind.
You are a smile that lights up someone's day; every single day.
You have so much potential.
So when you’re up all night thinking about why something bad happened to you, go to sleep.
When that boy is texting you things that make you feel anything but perfect, erase them.
When you need to vent, let it out.
When you feel like it can’t get better...I’ll be there to change your mind.
- Me
Two weeks passed and it happened again...that bump under the rug is growing...I hope you’re as lucky as me to have someone clean it out for you.
