First, I want to start off by saying thank you.

I like to think of my past boyfriends as a series of books. All of the books are similar, but each story is unique. Everything from the first page of the first chapter, to the length of the story, and even the smell of each book is different. One of the stories I could re-read over and over again with a smile on my face, while one I haven’t picked up in weeks. There is another one I get a good laugh out of if I skim through it. One has an ending that makes me cry every single time even though I know what’s going to happen. Books are powerful. People read to learn about life. Maybe you are someone who picks up a book to learn about the world around you. Or maybe you pick a book up to learn something about yourself. Each lesson you get out of a book is one of the many side effects of reading a powerful story.

Personally, each one of you has taught me something. It’s natural to get caught up in how each one of you made me feel over our ending. However, I have learned to embrace everything each one of you has taught me. So here’s a little thank you letter to all of you.

Thank you for teaching me that love is anything but a boy who led me on, took advantage of me, or did not treat me the way I should have been treated. Love does not just come from people. For me, love is the moon when she’s full, over-sized warm sweaters, the smell of waffles on a Sunday morning, laughing until I cry, crying until I laugh, the sea when she’s angry, the midnight pizza runs with my closest girlfriends, and how cute whales look when they swim. Don’t look for love in just a man. The world has so many things that offer love other than a man.

Thank you for teaching me that there is so much more to life than being sad over someone who doesn’t want me, or finding someone who does. There is a beauty in learning to become whole on your own while having the hopes of falling in love along the way. Crying over someone who claims I no longer fit into their life is a waste of time. I really do not need that negativity in my life. It isn’t any less beautiful to be happy on your own than to be happy in love. Spend time falling in love with yourself.

Thank you for teaching me that I shouldn’t feel guilty when I cut someone off. In our generation we spend so much time on social media following people we don’t need in our life, such as ex-boyfriends. We aren’t meant to be tied to people in our past. Social media suggests that we don’t need to burn bridges and we should keep looking at our exes’ tweets, statuses, and photos. However, those expectations are unhealthy. If we come out from behind the online profiles, I have never spoken to either of you since our breakup. It is OK to cut people off who don’t deserve even just a second speaking to you, let alone looking at you.

Thank you for teaching me that how someone breaks up with you is a reflection of their true colors. To the one who has left me alone since our breakup: I cannot thank you enough. Our story was great, and I do not regret one moment of it. You were such a gentleman when you broke up with me because you did not blame anything on me. I know if I ever run into you ever again I will have no problem with making small talk. We accepted the fact that we no longer made sense, and that’s OK and that’s part of dating when you’re young. To the others who made our breakup way more challenging than it needed to be: Thank you for showing me your true colors. It made getting over you a lot easier. I never re-read our story.

Thank you for teaching me that if you stay stuck in the past you will not be able to fall in love with the future. It is important to look back on the past because if you don’t you’ll never learn from your mistakes. You will never really grow. However, there is a difference between reflecting on the past and being hung up on it. It’s a waste of time to be hung up on someone so much that you spend your time hating the days. You’re worth more than that.

To the ones who hurt me, thank you for helping me realize that I’m so much stronger without your toxic ways. I do not need someone constantly blaming me for the problems we had. I do not need someone who always said I was the one who caused the fights. At that point, it’s way healthier to accept the fact that this person is no longer having a positive impact on my life.

That being said, thank you for showing me that the next person I date should have a positive impact on my life instead of raining on my parade at least once a week. Life is so much better when you surround yourself with people who accept you for who you are. I do not need someone who just brings negativity and adds stress to my life. I want to be as happy as I can possibly be every single day, and if you just bring me down then you’re not worth my time.

Last but not least, thank you for teaching me that even though breakups are the worst, they serve as great life lessons. I have learned so much about other people and myself through every single breakup. Even if we had good times we ended for a good reason. Just because I am sad or furious right now doesn’t mean I will be forever.

So, what did each of you learn from me?