A Thank You Letter To My Ex-Boyfriend

A Thank You Letter To My Ex-Boyfriend

Because I never would have discovered true happiness if you hadn't left me.
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Dear Ex-Boyfriend,

It has been almost a year since the last time we talked. I don’t know what you’ve been up to, but I hope you’re doing okay. I have deleted your number and we have disconnected on social media, so I really have no way of checking up on you. If you’re wondering how I’m doing since you left, I am doing great. I am having the time of my life, and I am finding things that make me happier than ever before. I am focusing on what’s important: myself.

Our relationship isn’t something I regret. In fact, it taught me so many lessons. The times we shared together were incredible and you made me so happy, at least for a little while.

But I just wanted to thank you for the part you played in my life to get me to where I am today.

Thank you for making me so happy because I’ve realized I can be even happier.

You tried to do absolutely anything and everything to make me happy. You sent me cute texts, you cheered me up when I was sad, you flew up and down the east coast to see me, you acted like a 5 year old in a candy shop with me, and you loved me. While all these things made me happy, it was only temporary happiness. I have now realized that I can be constantly happy by surrounding myself with people and things that make me happy. I no longer have to rely on you for my happiness.

Thank you for loving me for me.

Thank you for truly loving me for me. I didn’t have to be anyone else when I was with you, and you liked me just the way I was. That made me believe that it is possible for someone to fall in love with me and I know it is capable of happening again.

Thank you for the heartbreak, because it made me a stronger person as a result.

I will admit, it was a tough idea to process, the idea of not having you in my life. But, I have not only gotten over it, but I have grown into a better person because of it. I no longer let people manipulate me and walk all over me. I am much stronger than I was before and I thank you for that.

Thank you for leaving me for someone else because it made me realize how much better I can do.

I have realized that “forever” doesn’t always mean forever, and when it finally does, the person who says it won’t leave me for someone else. I will never tolerate lying and sneaking around and I want to thank you for making it so obvious to find out. I can do so much better and I can’t wait to find out how happy the right person is going to make me.

Thank you for becoming the monster that you did, because if you hadn’t, I probably never would have discovered the toxicity of the relationship I was in.

All of your harsh words and childish acts toward the end of our relationship made me discover the scary person you could be. I would never want to be with someone like that. Looking back now, the relationship was never healthy—not letting me hang out with my friends, picking you over my family, causing drifts in my friendships. I am relieved I was able to get out of it when I could.

Thank you for making me realize there are more important things in life.

After you left, I put all of my energy into my friends, my family, and my school. My friends and family make me happier than you ever could and I am beyond obsessed with my school. I am on the road to becoming successful and I know I have a future ahead of me. There are much more important things than trying to save a relationship that cannot be saved.

I put my all into my relationships and I did everything I could to make you stay. But, everything happens for a reason, and there was definitely a reason our relationship came to an end.

I really do hope you can find someone who makes you happy one day. Good luck with everything.

Love Always,

Your Very Thankful Ex-Girlfriend

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the beautiful barefoot boy

The goal isn't to live forever, but to create something that will.

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This morning, I did the same thing I do every single morning when I wake up. Before my feet hit the floor, I say a prayer. I thank God for waking me up, blessing me with such a good life, and pray for any specific thing that is laying on my heart. Lately, I have been praying a lot for the same person many people in my community have been praying for- Matt McGregor. I have prayed for healing, comfort, strength, and many other things to happen in Matt's journey, but I also prayed that God's will be done in his life above all else. Little did I know yet that His will had been done.

I remember Matt from school. Every time I saw him, everyone around him was laughing. And I am not exaggerating. He was one of those special people who can literally make anyone and everyone laugh no matter the situation. He was one of those people that the world needs around to make life more bearable and just down right better.

Death sucks. Cancer sucks. Yes, I am glad that Matt is no longer suffering, but that does not really give me a sense of relief because I know his family and friends are suffering. I think about Matt's sisters, and cannot fathom the pain that they're feeling. I could not imagine life without my brothers, my kids not getting to grow up and hang out with their cool uncles, and telling on each other to our parents when we all come home for Christmas when we're 40. I think about his parents, who are having to do the hardest thing anyone could have to do, say goodbye to their son. I think about his friends, who's lives will never be the same every time they do something that reminds them that he's no longer here to share life with. He was too young, too full of life. The worst death are the ones that can't be explained, and this one of them.

That's the thing about life, you never know when it's going to end and that is what makes it so fragile. Someone you know passes away, and you suddenly start to contemplate whether you are living your life "good" enough. You wish you'd spent more time with the one who passed, hold on a little tighter to the ones who are still here, and make sure you remind them you love them. But to show someone you love them is much more powerful than telling them, and that is exactly how Matt lived his life. His life light was beaming all the time and he was constantly sharing that with everyone around him. That is part of why he was so special.

When someone dies, they leave their own legacy that is different from every single other person on the planet. Your legacy depends on the amount of light that you have shed on others. Looking through Facebook today, it is so obvious that his light touched so many people. Matt's death has reminded me of those that I have and will continue to lose throughout life... there is no better way to say it than death sucks. But even though death sucks, it reminds us to live our life to the fullest, and continue the legacy of those we've lost.

On a side note, I found it interesting that Matt was barefoot all the time, so I googled being barefoot in biblical times. Moses and Joshua was commanded to take off his shoes as he was standing on holy ground, and poor people did not have shoes so they went barefoot. But this is my favorite: priests in Israel went barefoot while ministering. They would take their shoes off before blessing their people. It is evident that Matt blessed so many people's lives in his short time on this Earth. Coincidence that he was known for always being barefoot? I think not.

Let your life light shine brightly like Matt's, and always live life to the fullest.

. . .

In loving memory of Matt McGregor Jr.

Then I heard a voice from heaven say, "Write this: Blessed are the dead who die in the Lord from now on." "Yes," says the Spirit, "they will rest from their labor, for their deeds will follow them." Revelation 14:13

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An Unopened Christmas Letter To The Aunt Spending Her First Christmas In Heaven

The love and joy you gave me, I can now pass on to someone else. And that is the best Christmas gift anyone could ask for.

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We were thankful to have you last Christmas. It was bittersweet, because deep down inside, I think we all knew it was your last Christmas.

Last Christmas...

Last Christmas, I gave you my heart. Little did I know, you would depart with a huge part of it.

This year, all I want is to see you, to hold you, to hear your voice at least one more time, but I understand things are different now. And I am trying to understand this is truly for the best.

Last Christmas, we prayed for a miracle. Something to ensure your quality of life, for at least a little longer. Our faith had been shaken, but not destroyed. We knew you were a warrior, and you wouldn't go down without a fight.

This Year...

As much as it breaks me this year, to try to put on a smile throughout all the seasonal lights, celebrations, and food that won't be nearly as good as yours, I can't help but feel there is something missing.

My Christmas light is gone. My second mother seemed to have just vanished so slowly, yet so quickly, and far too soon.

I know there is no better way to spend Christmas than with the Birthday Boy Himself, however, I'm not sure how to fill the void in my heart that went to Heaven right along with you.

To Save Me From Tears...

I want to be happy for you. I am standing before you, but I'm dying on the ground. I feel cold and broken and empty.

But you were so warm. You were so pink with joy. You were so beautiful and full of life. You are no longer suffering. You are no longer fighting for your life, but embracing eternal love and joy.

So this year, I will not let your memory go down with the candles I have lit. I will not let your flame quiet as I turn to darkness, but I will keep a light lit high and bright, just for you, the way you like.

I will still eat your favorite foods, and try to bake your favorite deserts. And although I know nothing will ever compare to having you next to me...

Sometimes, deep down in my heart, I still hear your gentle voice. I still hear you calling to me, telling me you love me, and that you will never fully leave me.

One day, I will find peace, the way you did. But today, I am still searching for you, as I always will be.

I'll Give it to Someone Special...

You did take a part of me with you. A big part of my faith and hope left when you left me too. A part of me is always in agony, in pain, but nothing compares to the pain you endured. You were strong and fought it just for us.

Now, I will follow your example. I will be strong and fight it, just for my child.

Yes, you left this world, you left me in some way, but you didn't leave me empty-handed. You left me broken, but not for long. You took a part of my heart, just to replace it with the biggest blessing of my life.

You granted me a child in my womb to keep me from feeling empty and withering away. While you were my amber, you left me with something to live for. A purpose. A reason. An everlasting love and joy.

The love and joy you gave me, I can now pass on to someone else. And that is the best Christmas gift anyone could ask for.

You will live with me, through me, and for me, as I use your examples and love to raise my child the way you raised your children and the way you raised me. And for that, I cannot thank you enough.

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