I was the really unattractive junior high girl, I know there was a lot back in that time but it was bad. I grew up in a town with less than 3,000 people and 70 students in my class. Everybody knew everybody. I was the one with terrible hair, no makeup skills, two teeth located behind her front teeth (totally not where they belonged) and wasn’t as pretty as all the girls I hung out with.
I was a girl that boys would play pranks on saying that they liked me but in all reality it was just a dare. I was the girl who got told I should become a nun because no one would want to be with me. I was the one that tried so hard to just get guys to like me the way liked all of my friends.
Most importantly I was the one that got destroyed in junior high with internet bullying before it was even as big as it is now. I was the one who had a website made specifically about myself, stating that I was the “ugliest girl in the world”. I remember it like it was yesterday. Going home crying to my big brother. Asking my mother, "Why are they so mean? Why would they do this?" I truly didn’t understand because although they weren’t the nicest to me, we grew up together. I didn’t think anyone could do something so cruel.
I was not the only one affected by the internet bullying by these individuals but I was the one who had a whole website dedicated to myself.
The trauma that it had on my 13-year-old self still haunts me to this day and I am brought to tears thinking about it. But you know what? I grew from it. I grew up and I have a pretty okay life. The thought still haunts me but I do not let it affect me because I am better than that. When I was younger I didn’t understand why they did what they but now I do. They were tearing others down to build themselves up. They were the ones that were unhappy with themselves. They had to point out the flaws of others to see the things they liked.
You know what I am now though? I am a girl who is happy with myself. I am a girl who is about to graduate college and follow the career path I’ve always wanted. I am the girl who could probably get a date when I wanted if I wasn’t so damn awkward. I am a girl with decent hair when the weather is good, not too shabby makeup skills and straight white teeth (thank you braces). I’m the girl who the bully asked out 3 times during senior year of high school, even though he never apologized once for what he did to me. He acted like it never happened.
I grew up to be a silly, passionate, loving, dramatic, smart, funny, awkward and attractive young lady. Some of it because of them.
I will never forget the people who helped shape me this way. I thought I would always hate them but in the end, they helped me. Because of them I will teach my children to be kind, loving and accepting of others. I know the mental damage that can be done from the stuff they did. I'm lucky enough that I was able to beat it.
So thank you bullies. For making me stronger than my 13-year-old self ever thought I could be.
