Being a feminist is hard. When I say that, I do not mean that supporting what feminism supports is difficult; believing in the social, political, and economic equality of the sexes is easy. Dealing with the repercussions of being an outspoken feminist, however, is exhausting.
According to people who disagree with feminism, I am "a bleeding heart liberal," "a left-wing extremist," "a PC bully," "a femi-nazi," "a woman who just hasn't had a good f*ck," "a Commie," or simply delusional.
In fact, check out some of the memes floating around the internet about feminists:
At first, I will admit it, I found some of these to be pretty funny. Not because they have a legitimate argument, but because they make no sense. They are nonsensical to the point of hilarity. But after years of being told these same things to my face, after years of having my opinions and my fight for equality being discredited and ridiculed, I am sick and tired!
Let's debunk a couple myths about feminism, shall we?
"Feminism is contradictory because feminists don't support females who aren't feminists."
This is, of course, untrue. Just as we feminists support women who decide to remain home and raise children, we also support women who are not feminists. We do not agree with them on this particular issue, but we still support anti-feminists' rights. Feminism is all about supporting one another's choices and fighting for the acknowledgement of the validity of all of those choices. It would be anti-feminist not to include anti-feminists in the feminist fight--if you catch my drift.
"Feminists just haven't found the right man/fallen in love/need a good lay."
Usually these sentiments are expressed in a far more aggressive manner. The idea of these statements is that female feminists are wild beings in need of being tamed by a man. They need to be tied down and calmed down. Some people even insinuate that feminists need to be raped to know their place; that in and of itself is convincing enough of a reason for me to be a feminist. The awful reaction and backlash to the existence of feminism just proves how vital feminism is to our modern world.
"Feminists are man-haters." And along with that, "Feminists don't care about men's rights."
Feminists are some of the main proponents of men's issues. Whereas anti-feminists use "men get raped, too!" as contrary material, feminists acknowledge sexual assault as an issue all people must combat. Feminists fully acknowledge and even promote the idea that patriarchy also hurts men. Many anti-feminists proclaim that the expectation for men to be hyper-masculine, open doors for women, and pay for food on dates are reasons that feminism is not necessary. However, because feminism is the equality of ALL sexes, it actually means the opposite. Fighting against the unfair issues men face which women do not is another integral facet of feminism.
"Feminists are all ugly."
First of all, who cares? A person's looks has nothing to do with whether a person's personality is good or whether their opinions are valid. Feminists do not have to be pretty to be important and to have their opinions matter. Plenty of unattractive people are considered to be invaluable sources of wisdom.
"Feminists are all liberal, Communist scum."
Some feminists are liberals. Some are communists. But I have also met feminists who are staunch republicans. Believing in the social, economic, and political equality of the sexes does not determine what political party one most identifies with. It is a drastic oversimplification of the complexities of political, economic, and social beliefs to believe feminism can determine one's political allegiance.
And last but not least, a couple thank yous!
Thank you to the first feminists I ever met. Thank you for letting me see how I was inadvertently hurting other people and myself. Thank you for helping me realize that I could be better and that I could help make other people better.
Thank you to all the outspoken, passionate, wonderful, caring feminists in my life--both male and female. You have all inspired me to be a better person. You have inspired me to stand up for what I believe, and to stand my ground when facing haters. Thank you for teaching me compassion for other people, and thank you for keeping me grounded.
Thank you to all the people who believe all humans should be equal. Thank you for fighting against the wage gap, for protesting against racial injustice, for voting and lobbying for great causes, for writing articles, directing movies, and creating art. Thank you for all you have done to advance the cause. Thank you for all the thankless work you do to help make this world a better place. Thank you for trying so hard to spread love.