When I was 16 years old, I thought I'd found my soulmate. He was older, handsome, a lifelong friend that I trusted with my whole heart. When the emotional abuse started, I told myself it wasn't really happening. He was going through a rough time in life, and I submissively accepted my role as his scapegoat. As time went on, however, things in his life, as well as our relationship, got progressively worse. The abuse escalated and the wounds became more than internal. He fell in with the wrong crowd and got involved with hard drugs. Deep down in my heart, I still believed there was a part of him that was good, that could be saved, and that left me clinging on to our relationship with blind hope. When we finally finally ended, I was left a shell of person. Not only had I lost my first love, but my best friend as well.

Part of me still thought the man that I had loved would miraculously reappear and sweep me off my feet. But of course, that never happened. I tentatively began my journey into healing, finding the scraps of the girl I'd lost along the way and sticking them back on as best I could. After three years, I'm not only past the damage he inflicted on me but so much greater of a person than the girl he stole away. Despite all that he took from me, there are a couple things I have to thank him for.

Thank you for teaching me that no man or woman can save me but myself. By becoming my own knight in shining armor, I reclaimed the identity that you slowly ripped from me. My personal worth is far greater than what any broken boy might value me at. I am not an item to play with but a women that should be respected.

You taught me the difference between love and possession. Telling someone you love them isn't enough, you have to mean it. Threatening to leave someone every time they question you or disagree with you isn't love. Scaring someone by threatening their live, the lives of those they love or your own is not passion, it is abuse.

Because of you, I will never accept anything less than what I deserve. I am stronger because I have been broken. You took every piece of me and shattered it. I alone picked up the pieces and resembled them bit by bit.

Most importantly, thank you for showing me what love it now. I can now recognize and whole-heartedly appreciate the real love I have found. It is pure, beautiful, and builds me up. I am not less of a person because of it, but growing every day. And though some ghosts of my past still follow me, they no longer have the ability to haunt me.