I want to start off by saying that no matter what I know that I am a failure. I fail you every single day; I am completely imperfect. Many times I have failed you, many times I have lost my way, and every single time you are still there. It’s so amazing to know that no matter how much I mess up, no matter how many mistakes I have made, nothing stops you from loving me or forgiving me.
Life in college is extremely tough at times. I stress most of the time over grades because grades equal GPA, and GPA equals whatever program I’m trying to get in. If my grades aren’t good, my GPA lowers and my chances of getting in my program lower along with it.
Life can be so hectic when you’re twenty years old. With school, work, and homework taking up my days, I go to sleep that night and wake up the next morning to do it all again. I feel like sometimes I get really lost. I forget who I am and I forget to cast my worries on you. I forget to put my full trust in you. Not because you are someone who is easy to forget, simply just because I feel the need to fix it myself… WRONG.
When times get rough I honestly forget to look at the positive side of things. Many times I take the many blessings I am given in this life for granted. For that I am sorry, so I would like to take the time to say thank you. Thank you for the MILLIONS of blessings you have given me. Thank you for giving me such a wonderful and loving support system. Thank you for all of the prayers that went unanswered; I realize now that it wasn’t because you didn’t love me. I realize that it was because you only wanted the best for me, and you knew before I did that it wasn’t what I needed. Thank you for allowing me to live this beautiful life as long as I have, and I am sorry that I take it for granted more often than I should.
There are times when I have to remember this world is just my temporary home. Jobs, money, food, clothes, stress, everything here is temporary. But your promise of our lifetime afterward is permanent. The stress and pain I have endured on this earth will not even be equivalent to the joy and happiness I will feel when I enter those pearly gates to rejoice with you for eternity. Even after all of the reassurance you have given me, though, I still sometimes wonder if I am even doing the right thing with my life. But I have to stop myself because I realize that you have a plan for me. You have planned my whole entire life from before I was even born. Everything that has happened in my life is your will, and because it is your will it is perfect.
It is the most honoring and humbling feeling to know that no matter how many times I mess up, forget to cast my worries, forget to read my bible every night, or even forget to pray because I fall asleep as soon as my head hits the pillow. I know that no matter what you love me anyway because you made me. For I am fearfully and wonderfully made.
This letter is literally just to say thank you for the millions of chances you have given me and for loving me through it all... especially on my worst days.