I never thought I'd have the courage to write this.

I never thought I would have to.

The day you left us was easily the second hardest day I have lived on this earth. Hearing the news and watching your last moments flee from existence hurt more than anything I had ever experienced. I didn't just lose you that day. I lost a great part of myself and who you helped me become.

Anyone who knew you had a hard time believing, or even remembering that you were sick. You played it off so well; you hid the symptoms, you covered up the scars, and you neglected to speak about the pain. In fact, I don't think you even acknowledged it. To us on the outside, you seemed fine and far on the road to recovery.

Ignorance truly is bliss.

It is so easy to deny the struggles we face in this life, isn't it? Out of sight, out of mind. That's the problem. We teach ourselves to repress and deny and forget the negative things we face so that we don't have to deal with them. But when it all comes crashing down, we have no choice but to fall along with it.

And that's exactly what happened on the night of November 24, 2013.

It's been almost two years.

Almost two years too long.

The day we found out about the sickness was a day that will haunt me for the rest of my life. Funny, how we can't seem to remember the things we want to recall as well as the things we long so much to forget.

What you were to me, no one else will ever arise to. You inspired me in such a way that only a few in this world are lucky enough to experience. What we had was a bond stronger than any promise I can imagine having made. Your voice was one of the only ones I never got sick of hearing. Your laugh calmed me, and your hope helped guide me. I hate you for giving me that hope. And at the same time, I love you for making me feel that way.

You are proof that this life is temporary.

It's passing. It's flying by with each blink of an eye, and no matter how hard we work to stop it, we can't. The earth never stops spinning, the sun never stops shining, and the pain we feel never completely subsides.

Thank you so much for being a part of me. Thank you for my temper, my sense of humor, my ambition, my drive, and my stubbornness.

Thank you for making absolutely sure that when you disappeared, I would be the lucky soul who got to keep a part of your spirit alive.

Thank you for being the only person who ever made me feel truly capable of achieving the things I want.

Thank you for loving me like a niece, a sister, a daughter, and a friend.

Thank you for leaving me with your legacy.

Every time the wind blows I feel empty. After that night, each and every moment is a struggle to believe that this was for the best. Two years later, and I still can't seem to fathom your absence.

I once thought November 24 was the worst day of my life.

But I was wrong.

The hardest day isn't the day we lose the one we love. It's not the next day, when loved ones gather and grieve. It's not the next week, when stories are told and the past is reminisced.

It's the day that person is forgotten.

The hardest, most impossible, horrific day is the one where you realize they're actually gone. Because, you don't hear from them, or about them, and life begins to go on without them. The moment you realize that life is continuing and erasing their significance with each fleeting second—that moment is the worst of them all.

Nearly two years later, I'm still having that day.

Just know that I feel you here with me. I want you to know that we're okay here without you. Each day is easier than the last, and that's because of the memories you left me with. You are the reason I'm strong enough to miss you, but still be all right. You hold a special place in my heart that no one else will ever take.

I'll never forget.

I will never let go.

And I will always love you.