To each of you who has hurt me:
By no means is this easy. I'd rather tell the world who you really are. I'd love nothing more than to destroy that facade and to crush that ego. What I'd love the most is to slap each of you out of your fantasy worlds and into reality, but I won't. Life will do that for me. Rather than stooping down, I'm going to stand up and thank you.
Thank you for those gut-wrenching panic attacks. My anxiety loved it when we played mind games and when you would ditch me for other girls who you swore were "just friends." Wow, so childish. You really fooled me.
Thank you for the new bedding. I had to buy new pillowcases because my mascara ruined my old ones. I'd use my pillows to mask my sobs after a few of you cheated on me, so my parents wouldn't hear me. Great job guys. Y'all sure know how to make a girl happy.
Thank you for truly breaking my heart. When you told me I wasn't good enough, I had a lot of sleepless nights full of unanswered questions. At that point in time, I was broken. I was mentally, emotionally and physically drained, out of answers and out of tears. I did everything for you and it wasn't enough. You won.
I thank you because I have learned so much from each of you, only bettering myself along the way. While it sucked in the moment, it's not so bad now. I'm so thankful I'm no longer wasting my time. You have each shown me that when I have given my all and it's overlooked, you don't deserve me. You never did. Thank you all for showing me what love isn't.
So here I am writing this letter. Not only am I thanking the ones who have filled my life with grief, but I'm also forgiving them. But know this — I'm not forgiving each of you for your sake. I'm forgiving you for my sake. I'm done living in the past. I'm done holding onto those of you who don't deserve to be in my heart or mind anymore. You each had your chance, and you hurt me; therefore, you don't get to continue to dwell in my patched up heart. I deserve peace, and that's what I'm going to get. I'm not sorry that I didn't change for any of you. I shouldn't have to change in order to be loved and appreciated. As I have tears streaming down my face, reliving those miserable moments, I'm incredibly relieved and thankful that this is the final goodbye. So thank y'all, from the bottom of my heart, for making me stronger than I ever could've imagined.
Someone important in my life recently told me that I'm more than good enough. I didn't believe it before, but now that I have found peace, I can genuinely say that I truly believe it now. I am good enough.
