“You’ve changed” is too commonly used as an insult when talking to friends and family these days. But let’s face it; it is inevitable that once we go away to school we learn new things about ourselves. It is away in our new community where we find our voice and passions. There is no way to control how people change and adapt to their environment and the newfound freedom that goes hand-in-hand with it. However, using the phrase “you’ve changed” typically directed as a slap-in-the-face term is quite frankly childish and unfitting for what one is trying to communicate to a person. But there is something these people must realize that is important. That is that we know we have changed and we couldn’t be happier.
I am proud that I have changed while away at college. In fact, if I was still the same straight-laced, rule following, naïve, and sheltered girl I was when I walked across that stage at my high school graduation, I would be worried. Since moving away, my life has taken me through a multitude of ups and downs. Within these past two years away at college, I have been through so many phases I feel as though I am twice my age.
A silly statement to some readers maybe, but I feel as though on a mutual level, many millennials know the feeling I am describing. Upon living (or rather, “thriving”) in this new environment, we are once again building our reputation from the ground up. If I could give one piece of advice to anyone going away to school it would be that distance from your comfort zone is good. Going away to school is the time to detach yourself from those whom you have known since grade school and start over. When you are away, you form more authentic relationships with new people, those who look at you as a clean slate, listen with open ears, and have a wide-open heart for acceptance. It is these individuals that lead to new memories, new experiences, and a changing mindset.
Under the occasion of being told that I have changed, the first thing that pops into my head is Thank You. Thank you for noticing I am evolving. For making it clear that I am not the girl I was two years ago. Thank you for solidifying the fact that I am now made new with my own experiences that were formed from what I believe.
I believe that with everything I have experienced, I have changed for the good. Finding a passion has changed me to be more driven. Experiencing heartbreak has changed me to be stronger. Being challenged has changed my mindset about accepting vulnerability. And newfound happiness has changed me to be more companionate to others.
So you are right, I am not that girl that let others speak for her, was too timid to break rules even when they were meant to be broken, and stood back and watched life pass her by. Instead, I have changed into the independent, passionate, open-mindset, strong, sassy (some say too sarcastic for my own good), and overall happy young woman who has life far from figured out but works her butt off daily to get what she wants.
But I really couldn’t have done it without people who snidely use the line; “you’ve changed” that made me realize I actually needed a change in the first place. So, thank you.
