No. 1: You don’t really understand
For those of you who already know me, and have been through the past couple years of my life, you know that I suffer from anxiety and depression. And if you did not know, welcome to this part of my life. Before I begin, I would like to say that I am not ashamed. This part of my life is something I cannot control and I’ve been working through it for quite some time now. I am proud of how much strength I’ve gained and how far I’ve come and I have no problem sharing my story. What I do have a problem with is people not accepting it. More often than not when I decide to be open about something that makes me vulnerable, one of the phrases I here the most is, “Oh, its fine. I get it. I get anxious.” Another one is, “Oh, a lot of people are like that. Don’t worry,” or my favorite, “Trust me, I was so depressed the other day. I get it.” I’m OK with this and I’m not OK with this. You don’t quite get it though. When diagnosed with something like an anxiety disorder it means that that person gets anxious quite easily during certain situations, and have trouble controlling their response to it. And while I do respect your attempt to comfort me and I’m sorry for those days you don’t feel like yourself, what you are doing is making my health seem like something that’s not a big deal. That everyone suffers through it, which is not the case.
No. 2: We’re still the same person
Considering I personally am very open about myself, most people in my life know about what goes on. However, I know I, and many others have been treated differently. Something everyone should know is that I still am the same person with anxiety or not. I may not always be 100 percent of myself all the time, I may have some days where I’m a little more on edge than others. I’ve had family members, friends and coworkers act differently around me. But, I promise you don’t have to treat me differently. I would prefer if you treated me the exact same. Please do not give me special treatment. Please do not look at me like I am any lesser of a person then I was. I am the same person I was five minutes ago before you knew. Everyone has their own problems and mine don’t change me completely. Again thank you, but no thank you. I get that you are trying to be careful around me, because you're afraid of upsetting me, but really, it is a bit insulting and makes me feel like its something I should be ashamed about. Which it totally isn’t. I”ll still act the same around you and I ask you do the same.
No. 3: Please don’t question it
I have actually had people try to tell me I wasn’t depressed. That there was no way I could be, and actually made me explain myself. That's not OK. No one should ever have to feel pressured to explain themselves. If someone broke their arm, you don’t ask them to prove it or tell them that there's no way it can be broken even if an x-ray says so. (Not that a mental illness and a physical illness are anyway the same.) So please don’t be in denial about it. What I hear is, “There’s nothing wrong with you, you have everything you could ever want, stop acting like this, why don’t you just be happy?” There’s so much more that goes on in someone's head than what is perceived. You never know what an anxious, depressed, bipolar, etc. person is thinking. And there's so much behind the naked eye that goes on that makes someone the way they are. A lot of people think that since I live in a nice town, go to a great private school and live a comfortable life that there is nothing that could be wrong. And I’m sorry if that does not make sense to you, but physical things do not define a person's well being. Thank you for trying to make me feel that there is nothing wrong with me, but please just accept it. I’ve learned to accept myself for who I am, and I ask you do the same.
