One Taught Me Love, One Taught Me Patience, One Taught Me Pain— And I Met Them All On Tinder

One Taught Me Love, One Taught Me Patience, One Taught Me Pain— And I Met Them All On Tinder

Thank you, swipe left, thank you, swipe right.

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I haven't had the best of luck in my relationship life and I've grown to be okay with it.

I've met most of the boys I've dated on Tinder and it has brought me a lot of life lessons that have helped me grow as a person. These casual relationships haven't been the greatest since they did not last very long but they shaped me into becoming more independent.

Two of those boys I dated, I still talk to on an everyday basis and we've decided that it was best being better off as friends but one of those boys, he broke my heart and have no plans to ever talk to him again.

Here I expose those three boys who have made a significant impact in my love life:

1. One Taught Me Love

We matched and started talking during December of 2017, which was a bit after my disastrous date with the boy who taught me patience (who you will read about below). I was not planning to reply to any messages I had gotten from guys I was matching with during this time since it was always the same old story of a horny guy looking to hookup as it is something I am extremely uninterested in. But one day I was bored and I was looking to get a kick out of roasting guys who messaged me. So I responded back to this particular boy who told me he would promised to send me a plethora of memes, GIFs, and vines. Although I was trying my best to destroy his ego, it had become really hard to do so and realized that we really hit it off but like most guys on Tinder, he was looking for a hookup. Although I turned him down, he was a gentleman about the situation, which was VERY RARE as every time I turned a guys down, they'd be a major assholes and block me. He still wanted to remain talking to me and it would eventually lead into us becoming really great friends. This boy is so dear to my heart and I appreciate his friendship so much as he helped me start loving myself more. He would always compliment me when I least felt like I deserved it. He always ALWAYS brings a smile to my face whenever we talk even though it is completely platonic. I definitely believe that the honesty we shared with one another since the very beginning is what helped us stay friends. Still to this day, we continue to snapchat each other every day and he continues to constantly compliment me since he goes to school out of state but I love having him around in my life and I am very thankful to have met him.

2. One Taught Me Patience

I don't remember exactly when I matched with this boy but I remember he messaged me first and I did not reply for a few weeks until I got bored and wanted to roast some thirsty boys. He was the "rebound" after the boy that taught me pain (who you will read about below) and I broke things off so I was not looking for anything at all but I was back on Tinder to keep my mind off my pain. After a few weeks of ignoring his message, I replied back with a very savage GIF and somehow it eventually led to great conversation. He lived over a hundred miles away from me so prior to meeting him, we would talk daily since it was hard to meet up since I didn't have a car nor did I want him to drive so far when there was a possibility it would not work out. I waited to meet him for two months and when we did meet up, it wasn't what I had hoped for. I thought the date idea was great and had fun exploring DTLA but we had no chemistry whatsoever. I realized that it was the worth the wait to figure out that I needed to be more patient when it came to dating. He taught me that it was important to wait to find the "right" person and not worth rushing into things after a breakup that did me dirty. Him and I still talk to this day although he ghosted me for a few months after our disastrous date but glad to have made a good friend.

3. One Taught Me Pain

This boy and I matched around November of 2016 and began talking as soon as him and I matched. He complimented me right off the bat, saying that I was the most beautiful girl he had ever matched with (which I ultimately realized that it was all BS talk). We talked everyday and he was always very lovey-dovey with me, which I thought was wonderful but it was because he wanted me to just be his fuck-buddy but I wanted more than that. So, him and I were very on-and-off for over a year and a half because he kept handing me fake promises so he could get what he wanted but I would refuse every time, thankfully. He was one I shared all my insecurities and intimate details with which was something I had never done before. Unfortunately, each time we broke up, he used those things against me to hurt me. I spent so much time trying to make things with him and I work but it would just end up hurting me so much. I would come back each time I felt lonely and felt like I needed him when in reality it was so toxic to keep doing that to myself. Being with him was a major waste of my time and even though he taught me a lot of pain, I realized my worth and this "relationship" showed me that I never want to feel that kind of pain ever again.

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An Open Letter To My Boyfriend's Mom

A simple thank you is not enough.
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Your son and I have been dating a while now and I just wanted to thank you for everything.

Wow, where do I start? Ever since the day your son brought me into your home you have shown me nothing but kindness. I have not one negative thought about you and I am truly thankful for that. I first and foremost want to thank you for welcoming me with open arms. There are horror stories of mothers resenting their son's girlfriends and I am blessed there is no resentment or harsh feelings.

Thank you for treating me like one of your children, with so much love but knowing exactly when to tease me.

Thank you for sticking up for me when your son teases me, even though I know it’s all in good fun it's always comforting knowing you have someone by your side.

Thank you for raising a man who respects women and knows how to take responsibility of mistakes and not a boy who is immature and doesn’t take responsibility.

Thank you for always including me in family affairs, I may not be blood family but you do everything you can to make sure I feel like I am.

Thank you for letting me make memories with your family.

There is nothing I value more in this world then memories with friends and family and I am thankful you want and are willing to include me in yours. I have so much to thank you for my thoughts keep running together.

The most important thing I have to thank you for is for trusting me with your son. I know how precious and valuable he is and I won't break his heart. I will do everything I can to make him happy. This means more than you could ever imagine and I promise I will never break your trust.

The second most important thing I must thank you for is for accepting me for who I am. Never have you ever wished I looked like another girl or acted like another girl. You simply love and care for me and that’s all I could ever ask. Every person in this world is a unique different person and understanding that means a lot.

The third most important thing I must thank you is teaching me how to one day in the future treat a potential girlfriend that I may interact with as a mother. I am not a mother, but I one day plan to be. If I ever have a son it is because of how you treated me that I am able to be a humble loving mother to this new face that could one day walk into my door. How you have treated me has taught me how I should one day be in the future and I thank you for that.

This may seem all over the place but that’s how my brain gets when I try and thank you for everything you have done for me. It’s all so much and even the little things are so important so I promise my scattered thoughts are all with good intentions and not meant to bombard you. I just want to get the idea across to you that you are important and special to me and everything you do does not go unnoticed.

Sincerely,

Your Son’s Girlfriend

Cover Image Credit: Christian Images and Quotes

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15 Ways To Support Your Military Significant Other

The military is not like any other job.

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15 ways to support your significant other in the military. Being a MILSO is terrifying, lonely, and frustrating. Here are some tips to get by. YOU GOT THIS!

1. Understand that they will be busy

The military is not a 9-5 job with a lunch break. It could be drill or deployment, remember that they are going to be busy. He/she might not be able to call every night, text you, or answer your texts in a timely manner. They are busy, you should stay busy too.

2. The military is not a job, it is a lifestyle 

Unfortunately, you cannot pick and chose when you are a military spouse, girlfriend, or boyfriend. You are expected to act like a MILSO 24/7. You should support them 24/7 and be a listening ear when needed. Your SO does not have a normal job.

3. Become independent

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You will be away from your military significant other for days, weeks, months, or even a year+. This is overwhelming and exhausting. But think of it as an opportunity for you to gain independence, work on your own dreams, and become the person you want to be!

4. Trust, trust, and more trust

Do not take this one lightly. Being a significant other, in any relationship, means trust. You have to believe that they mean what they say. You have to trust them when they cannot answer your texts or calls. Believe that they are doing is important and you can wait.

5. Prepare for deployment

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Unfortunately, this is a very real side of being a MILSO. You never know where and when they are going to leave or for how long. Welcome to the roller coaster (;

6. Do not date them for the benefits 

The job is done because they love their country and want you to be safe, not for the military pay or benefits. It is not glamorous, or worth it just for the health insurance! Do it because you love them.

7. Become a support system

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Support them every day, through words, actions, and reassurance. This job is not easy. Do not be pushy with details. Let your significant other come to you when they are ready.

8. Lean on other MILSOs

Because nobody says you have to do it alone.

9. They are missing you too

Just because they are busy does not mean they are not missing you. Not only do they not have you, but they also do not have their house, bed, family, or even their own country at times!

10. If you have children, be prepared to become both parents 

I, personally, do not have children. However, growing up in a military family, I had my mother play my father role. It is scary but it is possible. Do not expect to be perfect.

11. Be flexible 

When I first started this journey, I thought, "It is the military, when they said he will be home at 6:00 pm, he will be home EXACTLY 6:00 pm!" I could not have been more wrong. FLEXIBILITY IS KEY!

12. The military isn't closed for the holidays

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They will not be home for every holiday, every birthday, or every plan. Plans are made to be changed. Nobody can control the military or its timing. Be prepared to have Christmas in January.

13. Be proud of them 

What they are doing is not easy. It is scary, stressful, exhausting, and time-consuming. They are doing it because they care. Show how proud you are of them.

14. Hug them...all the time

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Appreciate the time you have together. It means the world to both of you.

15. Send packages, letters, texts, ANYTHING

They are looking forward to what you have to say. After their long day, they want to see your texts and packages. Make their job a little more tolerable.

Good Luck, fellow MILSOs! YOU GOT THIS

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