Thank u, next- Tinder edition

One Taught Me Love, One Taught Me Patience, One Taught Me Pain— And I Met Them All On Tinder

Thank you, swipe left, thank you, swipe right.

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I haven't had the best of luck in my relationship life and I've grown to be okay with it.

I've met most of the boys I've dated on Tinder and it has brought me a lot of life lessons that have helped me grow as a person. These casual relationships haven't been the greatest since they did not last very long but they shaped me into becoming more independent.

Two of those boys I dated, I still talk to on an everyday basis and we've decided that it was best being better off as friends but one of those boys, he broke my heart and have no plans to ever talk to him again.

Here I expose those three boys who have made a significant impact in my love life:

1. One Taught Me Love

We matched and started talking during December of 2017, which was a bit after my disastrous date with the boy who taught me patience (who you will read about below). I was not planning to reply to any messages I had gotten from guys I was matching with during this time since it was always the same old story of a horny guy looking to hookup as it is something I am extremely uninterested in. But one day I was bored and I was looking to get a kick out of roasting guys who messaged me. So I responded back to this particular boy who told me he would promised to send me a plethora of memes, GIFs, and vines. Although I was trying my best to destroy his ego, it had become really hard to do so and realized that we really hit it off but like most guys on Tinder, he was looking for a hookup. Although I turned him down, he was a gentleman about the situation, which was VERY RARE as every time I turned a guys down, they'd be a major assholes and block me. He still wanted to remain talking to me and it would eventually lead into us becoming really great friends. This boy is so dear to my heart and I appreciate his friendship so much as he helped me start loving myself more. He would always compliment me when I least felt like I deserved it. He always ALWAYS brings a smile to my face whenever we talk even though it is completely platonic. I definitely believe that the honesty we shared with one another since the very beginning is what helped us stay friends. Still to this day, we continue to snapchat each other every day and he continues to constantly compliment me since he goes to school out of state but I love having him around in my life and I am very thankful to have met him.

2. One Taught Me Patience

I don't remember exactly when I matched with this boy but I remember he messaged me first and I did not reply for a few weeks until I got bored and wanted to roast some thirsty boys. He was the "rebound" after the boy that taught me pain (who you will read about below) and I broke things off so I was not looking for anything at all but I was back on Tinder to keep my mind off my pain. After a few weeks of ignoring his message, I replied back with a very savage GIF and somehow it eventually led to great conversation. He lived over a hundred miles away from me so prior to meeting him, we would talk daily since it was hard to meet up since I didn't have a car nor did I want him to drive so far when there was a possibility it would not work out. I waited to meet him for two months and when we did meet up, it wasn't what I had hoped for. I thought the date idea was great and had fun exploring DTLA but we had no chemistry whatsoever. I realized that it was the worth the wait to figure out that I needed to be more patient when it came to dating. He taught me that it was important to wait to find the "right" person and not worth rushing into things after a breakup that did me dirty. Him and I still talk to this day although he ghosted me for a few months after our disastrous date but glad to have made a good friend.

3. One Taught Me Pain

This boy and I matched around November of 2016 and began talking as soon as him and I matched. He complimented me right off the bat, saying that I was the most beautiful girl he had ever matched with (which I ultimately realized that it was all BS talk). We talked everyday and he was always very lovey-dovey with me, which I thought was wonderful but it was because he wanted me to just be his fuck-buddy but I wanted more than that. So, him and I were very on-and-off for over a year and a half because he kept handing me fake promises so he could get what he wanted but I would refuse every time, thankfully. He was one I shared all my insecurities and intimate details with which was something I had never done before. Unfortunately, each time we broke up, he used those things against me to hurt me. I spent so much time trying to make things with him and I work but it would just end up hurting me so much. I would come back each time I felt lonely and felt like I needed him when in reality it was so toxic to keep doing that to myself. Being with him was a major waste of my time and even though he taught me a lot of pain, I realized my worth and this "relationship" showed me that I never want to feel that kind of pain ever again.

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Why You Should Stop Chasing Him

You deserve better.
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They say “the thrill of the chase" makes someone more enticing. There's just something about wanting something you can't have that drives you crazy (in a good way). There is never a dull moment. Pursuing him is a challenge. Nothing comes easily. What's the fun in that anyway?

I'm going to tell you this: stop chasing him. Stop forgiving him when he forgets to answer your text messages and phone calls. Stop being the one to always make plans. Stop letting him bail on you. Stop waiting around for him. Stop being lied to. Stop making excuses when he doesn't make time for you. There is a difference between someone who is “hard to get" and a flat out jerk who doesn't give you the time of day. Stop letting him use you.

You deserve to be with someone who makes you fall asleep every night in the middle of texting him because neither of you want the conversation to end. You deserve someone who plans dates for the two of you. You deserve someone who asks you to hang out before midnight. You deserve someone who wants to spend time with you just as much as you do with them. You deserve someone who insists on paying for your ice cream. You deserve someone who won't deceive you. You deserve someone who is straightforward. You deserve attention. You deserve affection. You deserve a partnership that is mutual, not one-sided. You deserve to be chased.

You are better than 3 a.m. “Hey" texts. You are better than a night spent watching a movie just to fool around. You are better than trying to decode his vague messages. You are better than his shadiness. You are better than mind games. You are better than being ignored.

If you have to chase him, he's not worth it. Don't settle for someone who makes you beg for his attention. If he is genuinely interested in getting to know you, he will put in the effort. A relationship where your feelings are reciprocated is far more rewarding than one where you constantly feel like you have to drag him along.

Change your mentality. Become more independent. Be confident, be bold. Find happiness in being alone. Don't waste your time pathetically chasing after someone who doesn't feel the same, but doesn't have the heart or the courage to tell you so. Your self-confidence and positivity will make you radiant, and eventually, you will attract the kind of guy who is mature enough to not mess with your head.

Cover Image Credit: weheartit.com

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12 You Should Know About Your Significant Other After You've Been Dating 12 Months Or More

You have multiple food orders memorized.

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Dating someone for a year+ means that you are bound to know things you might not have known in the early months of the relationship. You also might act differently than you did at the beginning of the relationship.

Here are 12 things you know when you've been dating for over a year.

1. Clothing size, shoe size

This one you can probably be able to figure out early in the relationship. But, you start to keep in the back of your mind and think of that person when you see clothes or a pair of shoes they might like.

2. You can guess what they are going to text back

Especially if it is just a casual conversation about nothing in particular. You know their go-to responses.

3. You have multiple food orders memorized

Their food orders, of course.

4. You have that one TV show you can put on and neither of you will complain

And that is "The Office."

5. You don't get jealous

How could you have lasted in a relationship for over a year and not have any trust?

6. You know likes and dislikes

And can assume if they are going to like or dislike something.

7. You got a LONG Snapstreak

474 day streak over here.

8. Their successes make you just as happy as it makes them

Seeing your significant other do well and accomplish something great is just as rewarding as if you had done the same.

9. Your friends are his friends and his friends are your friends

And you can all hang out together.

10. You have your favorite restaurants

That we always end up going to.

11. You've met everyone in the family and extended family

And you feel like part of the family.

12. You know extremely personal things about each other

That you would not necessarily share with the public.

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