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One Taught Me Love, One Taught Me Patience, One Taught Me Pain— And I Met Them All On Tinder

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Emilia Rodriguez-Vera

Nov 12, 2018

UCLA

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One Taught Me Love, One Taught Me Patience, One Taught Me Pain— And I Met Them All On Tinder

Emilia Rodriguez-Vera Photography

I haven't had the best of luck in my relationship life and I've grown to be okay with it.

I've met most of the boys I've dated on Tinder and it has brought me a lot of life lessons that have helped me grow as a person. These casual relationships haven't been the greatest since they did not last very long but they shaped me into becoming more independent.

Two of those boys I dated, I still talk to on an everyday basis and we've decided that it was best being better off as friends but one of those boys, he broke my heart and have no plans to ever talk to him again.

Here I expose those three boys who have made a significant impact in my love life:

1. One Taught Me Love

We matched and started talking during December of 2017, which was a bit after my disastrous date with the boy who taught me patience (who you will read about below). I was not planning to reply to any messages I had gotten from guys I was matching with during this time since it was always the same old story of a horny guy looking to hookup as it is something I am extremely uninterested in. But one day I was bored and I was looking to get a kick out of roasting guys who messaged me. So I responded back to this particular boy who told me he would promised to send me a plethora of memes, GIFs, and vines. Although I was trying my best to destroy his ego, it had become really hard to do so and realized that we really hit it off but like most guys on Tinder, he was looking for a hookup. Although I turned him down, he was a gentleman about the situation, which was VERY RARE as every time I turned a guys down, they'd be a major assholes and block me. He still wanted to remain talking to me and it would eventually lead into us becoming really great friends. This boy is so dear to my heart and I appreciate his friendship so much as he helped me start loving myself more. He would always compliment me when I least felt like I deserved it. He always ALWAYS brings a smile to my face whenever we talk even though it is completely platonic. I definitely believe that the honesty we shared with one another since the very beginning is what helped us stay friends. Still to this day, we continue to snapchat each other every day and he continues to constantly compliment me since he goes to school out of state but I love having him around in my life and I am very thankful to have met him.

2. One Taught Me Patience

I don't remember exactly when I matched with this boy but I remember he messaged me first and I did not reply for a few weeks until I got bored and wanted to roast some thirsty boys. He was the "rebound" after the boy that taught me pain (who you will read about below) and I broke things off so I was not looking for anything at all but I was back on Tinder to keep my mind off my pain. After a few weeks of ignoring his message, I replied back with a very savage GIF and somehow it eventually led to great conversation. He lived over a hundred miles away from me so prior to meeting him, we would talk daily since it was hard to meet up since I didn't have a car nor did I want him to drive so far when there was a possibility it would not work out. I waited to meet him for two months and when we did meet up, it wasn't what I had hoped for. I thought the date idea was great and had fun exploring DTLA but we had no chemistry whatsoever. I realized that it was the worth the wait to figure out that I needed to be more patient when it came to dating. He taught me that it was important to wait to find the "right" person and not worth rushing into things after a breakup that did me dirty. Him and I still talk to this day although he ghosted me for a few months after our disastrous date but glad to have made a good friend.

3. One Taught Me Pain

This boy and I matched around November of 2016 and began talking as soon as him and I matched. He complimented me right off the bat, saying that I was the most beautiful girl he had ever matched with (which I ultimately realized that it was all BS talk). We talked everyday and he was always very lovey-dovey with me, which I thought was wonderful but it was because he wanted me to just be his fuck-buddy but I wanted more than that. So, him and I were very on-and-off for over a year and a half because he kept handing me fake promises so he could get what he wanted but I would refuse every time, thankfully. He was one I shared all my insecurities and intimate details with which was something I had never done before. Unfortunately, each time we broke up, he used those things against me to hurt me. I spent so much time trying to make things with him and I work but it would just end up hurting me so much. I would come back each time I felt lonely and felt like I needed him when in reality it was so toxic to keep doing that to myself. Being with him was a major waste of my time and even though he taught me a lot of pain, I realized my worth and this "relationship" showed me that I never want to feel that kind of pain ever again.

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One Taught Me Love, One Taught Me Patience, One Taught Me Pain— And I Met Them All On Tinder

Thank you, swipe left, thank you, swipe right.

1. One Taught Me Love

2. One Taught Me Patience

3. One Taught Me Pain

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The Best Lines from the Fab Four

And in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make

The sun is up, the sky is blue, it's beautiful and so are you

Love is old, love is new, love is all, love is you

There's nowhere you can be that isn't where you're meant to be

Life is very short, and there's no time for fussing and fighting, my friend

He say, "I know you, you know me", One thing I can tell you is you got to be free

Oh please, say to me, You'll let me be your man. And please say to me, You'll let me hold your hand

It was twenty years ago today, Sgt. Pepper taught the band to play. They've been going in and out of style, but they're guaranteed to raise a smile

Living is easy with eyes closed, misunderstanding all you see

Can you hear me? When it rains and shine, it's just a state of mind

Little darling, it's been long cold lonely winter. Little darling, it feels like years since it' s been here. Here comes the sun, Here comes the sun, and I say it's alright

We danced through the night and we held each other tight, and before too long I fell in love with her. Now, I'll never dance with another when I saw her standing there

I love you, I love you, I love you, that's all I want to say

You say you want a revolution. Well you know, we all want to change the world

All the lonely people, where do they all come from. All the lonely people, where do they all belong

Oh, I get by with a little help from my friends

Hey Jude, don't make it bad. Take a sad song and make it better

Yesterday, all my troubles seemed so far away. Now it looks as though they're here to stay. Oh, I believe in yesterday

And when the brokenhearted people, living in the world agree, there will be an answer, let it be.

And anytime you feel the pain, Hey Jude, refrain. Don't carry the world upon your shoulders

I'll give you all I got to give if you say you'll love me too. I may not have a lot to give but what I got I'll give to you. I don't care too much for money. Money can't buy me love

All you need is love, love is all you need

Whisper words of wisdom, let it be

Blackbird singing in the dead of night, Take these broken wings and learn to fly. All your life, You were only waiting for this moment to arise

Though I know I'll never lose affection, for people and things that went before. I know I'll often stop and think about them. In my life, I love you more

Obviously the best superpower.

There have been many lessons learned.

1. The importance of traditions.

2. How to be thankful for family and friends.

3. How to give back.

4. What the word "community" really means.

5. That it isn't about the destination, but the journey.

6. The consequences of making bad choices.

7. To trust people, until you have a reason not to.

8. To be welcoming and accepting of everyone.

9. How to be my own, individual person.

10. How to work for what I want.

11. How to be great at giving directions.

12. How to be humble.

13. To be well-rounded.

14. How to be great at conflict resolution.

15. The beauty of getting outside and exploring.

16. To be prepared for anything.

17. That you don't always have to do it alone.

18. How to be creative.

19. To brush off gossip.

I have never been so thankful to know you.

Dealing with the inevitable realities of college life.

Don't freak out

Email the professor

Attend the first class

Keep attending class

Have a backup plan

Remember that everything works out at the end

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