Dear Insecurity,

You kept me up at night, but pushed me down during the day. You kept me from smiling and laughing and loving. You stopped me from living. However, I no longer allow you to define me—I control you­—manipulating you to create the best version of myself. And for that, I thank you.

Thank you for constructing my morals. . .

You made me relive the most humiliating of my mistakes, haunting me for faults I am unable to fix. However, the cycle of regret that rattled my brain not only gave me time to overcome my guilt, but more reason to recognize my mistakes. I accept those mistakes—and the blame—yet more importantly, I claim the lessons learned as my own morals.

Thank you for teaching me the importance of inner beauty. . .

No, I will never have “Kylie Jenner lips” or “Kim Kardashian curves.” You can tease me for my appearance because that is what you see, but I know there is more to what meets the eye. Our eyes are full of deception and ultimately, what remains in our minds is what truly render us living beings. Not many can perceive beauty, yet all that is beautiful is created within our hearts and souls.

Thank you for proving I should never underestimate myself. . .

You told me I would never be good enough. You let me compare myself to others when comparison was unneeded. You wanted to be the source of my inferiority, when in actuality, you were the motivation for my superiority. I was shattered with each insult, yet each was an incentive—an incentive to prove you and all the others wrong. Interestingly enough, I was not the one to undermine my potential, but instead, you were the one to underestimate my capability to succeed. You turned my weaknesses into strengths.

Thank you for keeping me humble. . .

You kept me within your grasp, making it impossible to escape from all that made me vulnerable and insecure. Not one person was able to save me from the black hole I had fallen into, or perhaps, allowed myself to fall into. After never-ending thoughts of doubt, I dug myself out, opening my mind to strength every inch of the way. You taught me to never take that invigorating feeling of confidence for granted because when life takes a wrong turn, we may never have that chance again.

Thank you for making me feel valuable.

You made me feel damaged and unloved and unwanted. Worst of all, I began to believe I was pathetic and useless. Yet, those moments that gradually broke me, eventually built a bridge for me to learn of the significance of my worth. Each step opened my eyes, making me realize I was privileged and not, pathetic. I did and still do, have a loving family, encouraging friends, ambitious goals—which add to my personal value—and thankfully, you gave me the opportunity to acknowledge that. Ha. Who’s pathetic now?

Thank you for showing me sympathy and compassion.

You forced me into a dark shadow, making it seem inviting to someone as hopeless as I was. I became accustomed to the negativity, yet it never distanced me from others. It brought me closer. My experiences with my own struggles have instilled within me compassion and sympathy for those who suffer from the same hardships and fears I once did. I offer a shoulder to cry on and a hand to hold because I know when I was troubled, that’s all I wanted, but was never able to receive.

Thanks for shaping me into the individual I am.

Sincerely,

A girl you tried to make insecure