Hey guys, so I decided to be personal with everyone. I'm writing a letter to my family, all of them.
Hi, family members.
Most of you know me and then, some of you don't know me at all. I just wanted to thank everyone for contributing in making me the person I am today. Thanks for having to abandon me to make me become dependent on myself and on no one else. Thank you for giving me harsh criticism and soft compliments so I can improve what I was doing horribly wrong. Thank you for all the broken promises, making me realize that I shouldn't promise anything I can't follow through with.
I am probably not the best sister, cousin, niece, goddaughter or granddaughter in this world, but I always have a reason to thank you all for forgiving me, helping me and staying by my side. To be honest, some people deserve more than a thank you — they deserve the world because they were there for me in my worse times. I appreciate everyone, even the people that disappear from me, because you are the people that showed me that everyone leaves with or without a reason and to not take it so literal and personal.
My life is a contradiction that everyone thinks they know everything about me — that you can figure out what I am going to do next, but sadly you don't know everything about me. I am unpredictable for different occasions. I am a specific woman that can smile day in and day out, but there are those days that we've all gotten, where you have no emotions or thoughts. To show who I truly am is hard because I don't speak my mind, but when it comes to writing, I can write a book about it.
What I would love is to understand why? Why give me hope when I didn't want it? Why did they leave me when I needed them most? What's the point in forcing a religion that believes that bisexual people are going straight to hell? Why didn't you fight for me? I keep letting these questions consume my mind for the past 14 years and when I asked, all the questions and answers revolved around my mother.
Like no, my mother has kept me out of trouble, has taught me how to treat everyone in this world. My mother has taken care of me for my whole life. She is my number one supporter, my number one fan and critic, at the same time. She has been my shoulder to cry on, and she gives me the best advice to stay on the path she never took. No one has the right to blame my mother for any of my decisions and actions.
You can be the most ignorant, arrogant person, and I won't treat you the way you treat everyone. I treat everyone equally. If you can't treat me with that equality, then I will personally treat you the way you treat me. I love everyone in my life —you all have changed me for many different ways. Stay you, and I'll stay me.
Love, Alex.
