I recently found out that I will be graduating from college an entire year early.

My original plan had been to finish school a semester early, but with the help of a full schedule and some summer classes, I will be done with school next August. This time next year, I will officially have to enter the mysterious place referred to as the real world. I am absolutely terrified.

Up until recently, I took comfort in the fact that I still had some time to figure my life out. That was, until a few weeks ago. Now instead of having a year and a half to get my life on track, that time frame has shrunk to less than 12 months. I’m still at a place in my life where I want to answer ‘I don’t know’ when asked what I want to do with my major. How am I supposed to turn a very honest ‘ I don’t know’ into a very real plan? Real life is approaching quickly, and instead of seeming like a curious and idealistic college kid, I am starting to look like an extremely unprepared adult. Within the next 12 months I need to finish school, start looking for jobs, hopefully land a job, and prepare to venture out into the world on my own. I do not feel prepared at all.

College has been comfortable. I know how to be a student and a friend and a roommate. My boundaries have been pushed, but I’m not sure they have been pushed to the point they needed to be in order to prepare me for real life. Comfort is easy, and I fear that I have hindered myself by lingering in my comfort zone for a little too long. The only future that I can seem to imagine is one where I crash and burn the second I am unleashed into the real world.

Whenever I express these fears, I always get the same response from everyone. People tell me not to be scared, because this is such an exciting time. I’m told that the years after graduation will be some of the best of my life. Everyone tells me that I will figure it out and that everything will be okay. I understand that people want to comfort me, and I greatly appreciate it. But at the same time, I also want someone to level with me. More so than comforting words, I want to hear that you were scared, too. I want to hear what you did when things went wrong. I want to hear that it is all very scary, and that I am not alone in feeling that way. I need to know that sometimes it is okay to not have everything figured out, because it sure doesn’t feel okay to be confused right now.

I have to be okay with being scared because I’m pretty sure that the feeling isn’t going to go away anytime soon. This is the most unsure I have ever been of my future, so I think that allows me a little bit of leeway with how I am currently feeling. As long as my fear doesn’t paralyze me, I don’t think that it’s wrong to feel it. Excitement will come, I’m sure of it. For now though, I think I have a right to be scared. Everyone who is graduating soon does. We have a lot to handle in the next year, and even though I’m sure it will be handled, it is going to be quite the journey.