The 10 Stages Of A Relationship Explained

The 10 Stages Of A Relationship Explained

Knee deep in the hoopla of dating in the modern 21st century.


We all know the song and dance. You start talking to someone, making it past the initiating and experimentation stages. The conversation seems effortless, and you are knee deep in the hoopla of dating in the modern 21st century. Lucky us, right? It's all fun and games at first, you know, the honeymoon lovey-dovey phase. Who is going to hang up first?

Who is going to have to wake up early for a study cram sesh because you were on the phone the whole night before? That's just the beginning. But what about the stagnating stage?

Eventually, unless you are still in your longterm relationship (kudos!) things die out, and conversation becomes either forced or dissipates entirely. For those of you that are unfamiliar, the stages of falling in and out of love have formally been broken into stages for us, who just don't get it. The stages read as follows:

1. Initiating

This stage is pretty self explanatory. You know, you're out, see somebody you might like. You go up and say hi, or- if you're like me, you get your friends to figure out how to introduce the two of you! (The most FUN stage if you ask me!) Appearance and how you present yourself are extremely sensitive parts of this stage... This is the MOST content sensitive stage, so put your best foot forward!!

2. Experimentation

OK, so you made it past the initiating stage. You and said person are communicating. In this stage, you are asking questions and getting to know one another. Is this person worth pursuing? You'll find out talking to them during this stage.


Things are heating up! You are determining your deeper feelings for one another during this stage. You are asking questions with substance!

4. Integration

Congrats, if you make it this far, you are officially a couple!

You are most likely both physically and emotionally involved during this stage, and you are at your most vulnerable.

Integration is a serious stage, but one of the most exciting, too!

5. Bonding

"It used to be you. Then me. Now it's WE!"

People don't ask you what you're doing. They are asking about both of you.

You are not only identifying yourselves as a couple, you are seen by others as a couple.

6. Differentiating

Now for the coming apart phases. Not all of us are lucky in love, and this is where things get a little rocky.

The differentiating stage is the stage in which you start noticing big differences in the two of you. Conflicts are on the rise if you don't get a handle on these differences quick.

7. Circumscribing

So, you have differences. That's fine... during this stage, you have started to eliminate things that you can talk about or do together. You start seeing yourself as idle again at times, rather than a couple.

8. Stagnation

Let's be real. If you are in the stagnation stage, your relationship itself is over. Whether you verbally end it or not, it's run its course. You are wasting your partner's time and your own by trying to fuel this burnt out fire.

9. Avoidance

You are avoiding all contact with this person during this stage. If you talk, it is because you have to do so. Many individuals that are going through separations before finalizing a divorce are in this stage.

10. TERMINATION (Yikes!)

It is done, done, done.

To make this picture a little clearer, it is comparable to divorce.

Circumstances are not good, and communication is not there nor desired to be.

So, there you have it! The ten stages of being in a relationship and falling in and out of love are pretty self-explanatory, but why not let the stars of our favorite TV shows help us out?

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10 Abnormally Normal Things About College

Some stuff just doesn't fly in the real world.

College is a weird, weird place. For whatever reason, the young adults who are supposed to be cultivating their minds with all of the worldly knowledge available to them, seem to get away with quite a bit using the justification "it's college." Even the best students live abnormally while on the alien planet that is a university. So, while to us college students it may just seem like another day, here are ten things that are only normal in college.

1. Straight up theft.

In the future, if I walk into my forty-something-year-old neighbor's home and see a collection of stolen signs, stuff from the local restaurant, and property from the construction site down the road, I would definitely be concerned about the character of my neighbor. However, in college, people proudly display campus signs, traffic cones, or dining hall napkin dispensers that they have impressively commandeered - it's a cheap decoration and a great conversation starter.

2. All-nighters.

Maybe with the exception of parents of little babies, very few people willingly stay up for close to 24 hours on end. In the real world, if a friend came to you and said that they literally did not sleep the previous night, it's completely logical to be worried. On the other hand, when a friend in college says that he was up all night you laugh a little, give him an understanding pat on the back, and walk with him to the coffee line.

3. Atrocious eating habits.

Sometimes you don't have time to eat. Sometimes you order pizza at 2 in the morning. Sometimes you eat three dinners. Sometimes you diet. All I can say, is thank goodness that our metabolisms are decently high at this age.

4. Breaking and entering.

In high school, you hopefully knew everyone who entered your home. After college, hopefully, that's still the case. However, when you live in the middle of thousands of bored college students, people knock at your door, walk into parties, cut through your yard, and stop by without invitation or hesitation. It keeps life fun, but still not normal.

5. Calling mom when stuff goes down.

I really doubt a time will ever come that I don't need to call my mom for guidance on how to do something. But, hopefully the frequency of those calls with go down a little bit post-graduation. Maybe after four years of doing it on my own, I'll know how to fill out government forms, cook real dinners, and get stains out. But for now, I'm going to keep calling while I still can without seeming totally pathetic.

6. Being intoxicated at weird times.

Drunk at noon on a Friday is the quintessence of an alcoholic at any time - unless it's college. Not that this is necessarily a good thing, and it certainly doesn't apply to everyone, but there aren't many other places where people would instantly assume someone is intoxicated if they're acting even a little weird. I've even seen people drink in the library....

7. The messed up dating scene.

There are people who meet the love of their life at college and live happily ever after. They are people who meet the supposed love of their life at college and never talk to them again after Sunday. There are people who use Tinder. Hormones are high, freedom is bountiful, and football players are cute - what else needs to be said?

8. A warped sense of time.

The career I'm pursuing will require me to be at work by 7 am, five days a week. I am fully aware of this. Now, will I enroll in an 8 am next semester? Absolutely not - I'm not a demon. In college, nights often start at 10 p.m., dinners are eaten at 4, and mornings can begin anywhere from 8 to 2. We don't get that whole 9-5 idea.

9. Costumes... for no apparent reason.

High schoolers have a dress code. Adults have dignity. College students have fun. Here, people will wear a corn costume to get on ESPN, a fanny pack to get into a fraternity, or a tutu to match a theme party. Is it actually a weird thing, though? No one even blinks an eye.

10. Insanely close friends.

Name another point in your life when you live with your friends, study with your friends, drive with your friends, eat with your friends, go out with your friends, and even grocery shop with your friends. I'll wait. At college, it's easy for friends to seem like family because you're with them constantly. Love it or hate it, it's weird about college.

So, enjoy this weirdness while you can - it won't last forever!


Uncensored Roommate Confessions!

Cover Image Credit: Matthew Kupfer

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If I Could Dream A Perfect Day, This Is What I'd Do

An inside look at what my dream day would be like.


Have you ever just had such a crappy day that you find yourself lying in bed daydreaming about what your perfect day would be like? No limitations, no pain, no frustrations. Just whatever you want.

Well, I have. Here is a look at what my perfect day would contain.

1. Teleportation


I know, I know. The first thing on my list is something that could absolutely never happen, at least in my lifetime. But hear me out.

I want to travel, but any form of transportation makes me sick. Cars, boats, planes, trains, you name it I end getting sick. So if I could teleport than I wouldn't have to deal with it. Plus I wouldn't have to pay for gas or airfare. It's a win-win.

2. My Mom

Kayla Resler

It wouldn't be a perfect day if my mom wasn't along for the ride. Who else would I have fun with and then rub it in my brothers face later?

Just kidding, he would come too.

3. Food


It would not be a prefect day if it didn't involve food. And if it was free it would be even better.

4. London


I have been dying to go back to London, and if it was my perfect day I would definitely take a trip over the pond!

5. Meet the Stars


If it was going to be my perfect day, I would meet some celebrities. Let me scream, and jump, and totally fangirl in front of Emma Watson, Tom Hiddleston, Chris Hemsworth, Zac Efron, and Robert Downey Jr. just to name a few.

6. Meet Fictional Characters


Earlier I said no limitations, so that means I get to meet fictional characters such as the Mikaelson family, the Golden Trio, Sirius Black, the Avengers, the Joker (he wouldn't kill me), and Hannibal Lecter (he also wouldn't kill me) to name a few.

7. Disney World


Bring on the magic! I want to go to Disney World and not have to wait in any lines. That would be a perfect day.

8. Learn a New Language


If I could learn how to speak French or German in a day that would be amazing.

9. Queen Concert


If I could close out the day by traveling back in time to see a Queen concert with Freddie Mercury back on stage that would be the perfect end to the perfect day.

10. Happiness

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If everyone that I love was completely happy, with no stresses holding them down, for just one day that would definitely be a part of my perfect day.

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