We all know the song and dance. You start talking to someone, making it past the initiating and experimentation stages. The conversation seems effortless, and you are knee deep in the hoopla of dating in the modern 21st century. Lucky us, right? It's all fun and games at first, you know, the honeymoon lovey-dovey phase. Who is going to hang up first?
Who is going to have to wake up early for a study cram sesh because you were on the phone the whole night before? That's just the beginning. But what about the stagnating stage?
Eventually, unless you are still in your longterm relationship (kudos!) things die out, and conversation becomes either forced or dissipates entirely. For those of you that are unfamiliar, the stages of falling in and out of love have formally been broken into stages for us, who just don't get it. The stages read as follows:
Initiating
This stage is pretty self explanatory. You know, you're out, see somebody you might like. You go up and say hi, or- if you're like me, you get your friends to figure out how to introduce the two of you! (The most FUN stage if you ask me!) Appearance and how you present yourself are extremely sensitive parts of this stage... This is the MOST content sensitive stage, so put your best foot forward!!
Experimentation
OK, so you made it past the initiating stage. You and said person are communicating. In this stage, you are asking questions and getting to know one another. Is this person worth pursuing? You'll find out talking to them during this stage.
INTENSIFYING
Things are heating up! You are determining your deeper feelings for one another during this stage. You are asking questions with substance!
Integration
Congrats, if you make it this far, you are officially a couple!
You are most likely both physically and emotionally involved during this stage, and you are at your most vulnerable.
Integration is a serious stage, but one of the most exciting, too!
Bonding
"It used to be you. Then me. Now it's WE!"
People don't ask you what you're doing. They are asking about both of you.
You are not only identifying yourselves as a couple, you are seen by others as a couple.
Differentiating
Now for the coming apart phases. Not all of us are lucky in love, and this is where things get a little rocky.
The differentiating stage is the stage in which you start noticing big differences in the two of you. Conflicts are on the rise if you don't get a handle on these differences quick.
Circumscribing
So, you have differences. That's fine... during this stage, you have started to eliminate things that you can talk about or do together. You start seeing yourself as idle again at times, rather than a couple.
Stagnation
Let's be real. If you are in the stagnation stage, your relationship itself is over. Whether you verbally end it or not, it's run its course. You are wasting your partner's time and your own by trying to fuel this burnt out fire.
Avoidance
You are avoiding all contact with this person during this stage. If you talk, it is because you have to do so. Many individuals that are going through separations before finalizing a divorce are in this stage.
TERMINATION (Yikes!)
It is done, done, done.
To make this picture a little clearer, it is comparable to divorce.
Circumstances are not good, and communication is not there nor desired to be.
So, there you have it! The ten stages of being in a relationship and falling in and out of love are pretty self-explanatory, but why not let the stars of our favorite TV shows help us out?
When One Person and One Person and One Person Become Many
Music Heals The Soul
This Summer, Dress to Feel Like Yourself
