The 10 Best Movies Of 2016

2016 has been one big disappointment when it comes to movies. It had all the potential in the world and squandered it. Much like everything else in 2016, going to the movies sucked. Except for these ten gems. I could wait till the end of the year, but fuck it. Let's rank 'em now.

10. Mike and Dave Need Wedding Dates

Mike and Dave need Wedding Dates is the wedding crashers for this decade. Which means it's really damn good and really damn funny. The only real drawback is that it is very cliched. However, with a comedy plot really does take a backseat to comedy but it doesn't take a rocket scientist to know how this was going to play out before even buying the ticket. Which is a problem, The movie has maybe a couple of misses in the joke department but it's hit greatly outweigh it's misses. Adam Devine is a comedic madman here and Zac Efron holds the fort down in reality. Kendrick and Plaza are also gems in this flick. It also has a surprising amount of heart behind it too and a message I find myself relating to more than I would like to admit. Definitely a comedy worth your time.

Also, Aubrey Plaza, be in more stuff. Like way more stuff.

9. Green Room

This is a magnificent horror film that I will never ever watch again. That's a testament to it's effect. It will leave you depressed and kind of nauseous. It doesn't shy away from the gore or the seriousness of it's plot. It's an unpredictable sense and has tension that won't let you breathe for a second. Patrick Stewart is the stand out here. I've never been more horrified of that man in my life.

8. Doctor Strange

All I'll say here is that this is the new benchmark for visual effects. The first time Strange enters another dimension is the only good experimental film ever made.

7. 10 Cloverfield Lane

This is a damn good bottle movie for the majority of it's run time. John Goodman continues to prove why he has been a force in Hollywood for decades. Mary Elizabeth Winstead also really shines here. I don't know the actor who played Emmett but he was great too.

6. Captain America: Civil War

The heart this movie has constantly beats. It's amazing what this movie achieves. It is an amazing Captain America sequel and an incredible Ultron follow up. I was constantly in conflict with which side I wanted to be on, just like the characters. That's the mark of smart writing and good filmmaking. Just because Captain America is in the title doesn't mean the film is 100% behind him.

5. Sausage Party

It has been awhile since I have laughed this hard at a movie. I was having a real hard time breathing at many points of the movie. It was relentless in it's crude and offensive humor. It has a check list of people to offend and it crosses everybody off the list. This movie is to movies what South Park and The Simpsons were to TV.

4. The Witch

Surprises come in all forms. This was a really well made, acted and crafted horror film. It has been a long time since a horror film effectively got me. There are sequences in this movie that will haunt me for the rest of my life. This is living, breathing proof that jump scares are the plight of all horror films. Not a single jump scare can be found in this movie. What can be find is atmosphere and genuinely creepy imagery.

3. Blair Witch

Bottom line: This movie is scary as all hell. Much like the first one it's a slow burn and it really plays with the audiences sense of security. When the shoe drops, the audiences sense of security goes with it. The last 30 minutes are some of the scariest moments in film history. Breathing became very difficult and if you are scared of close spaces, you may want to avoid this movie. Fainting may be in your future.

2. The Nice Guys

This movie is exactly what we need more of in modern Hollywood. A solid little throwback with a dash of exploitation. The 80's is my favorite decade but I may have to re-think it after seeing this. The 70's are just as much of a star in this as Crowe, Gosling and director Shane Black. It honestly looks like a an exploitation flick just a bit cleaner due to it being shot digitally. Even the tiniest details help make it feel so authentic. I love seeing chain smoking in public buildings and alcoholism in my movies dammit. This movie delivers in abundance.

1. Moana

Moana is a masterpiece. There are no other words that could even begin to describe it. From animation to voice acting to writing to direction to the music, it is without flaw.