Sorry, I know the title of my article is sort of aggressive and certain people might feel targeted, and that’s actually sort of my intention because I really don’t know how else we can fix the issue other than to make individuals know that it’s their fault. And your fault. And my fault.
Yes, it’s true. We are hiding behind screens, less people are making face-to-face connections and we have new weird terms for phases of relationships. Yes. I know. But the reason I’m writing this article is because we all know that. Your fellow humans are oftentimes a lot smarter and more conscientious than you give them credit for, and while I do agree that the changes in social interaction are weird and I don’t really like the way things have been playing out, technology is never going to slow down.
People are not going to stop innovating and developing technology because innovation is amazing and incredible. It’s kind of scary sometimes, I guess, but in a really awesome and mind-blowing way.
We’re always going to obsess over a new thing until we realize how harmful we have made it, until it’s changed a fundamental part of our culture, because of the role we let it play in our lives.
I don’t mean to be cynical, but the truth is that we can’t just change what’s happened. I love the enthusiasm and the passion for “returning to our roots,” if you will, but let’s please not ignore the fact that technological innovation is amazing. Just as a side note. It’s cool as hell, and you know it.
The way we’re playing out relationships is toxic not because of the technology itself; the technology itself is not doing anything. It’s incredible to think that I can just type whatever comes into my head and, within a second, my thoughts can be halfway around the world. We’ve sped everything up, which has its advantages and disadvantages.
But the real issue here is that our phones, our social media accounts and the like are not what has seriously damaged the ability and likelihood of two people to interact and converse and relate. Rather, it's the power that you give them to do that which is the very crux of what ruins modern relationships.
Those of us who can’t pull our eyes away from a little two-dimensional screen for five seconds to be with someone we love, don’t care enough to do it. Technology is not a drug. It’s not something that you need to survive and we all know it, but living so long with it makes the idea of life without it considerably more difficult.
I think that if you really love someone, and you really enjoy their company, it’s not that hard to pick up your face and look at them instead of whatever probably pointless thing you were doing on your phone.
It’s OK to use your phone, your laptop, or whatever. Social media is fine, as long as you don’t take it too seriously. Really, it’s harmless. You are what gives it power to control your every move. So, stop giving it that power. Stop placing this make believe wisdom into Facebook and Twitter and Instagram and your text messages and likes and whatever else you are putting all of your hope into.
It doesn’t matter how you meet a person. Technology has made the possibilities for meeting any type of friend or companion endless. I’m not going to go into how much it bothers me that people judge their friends who met online or just didn’t meet in person initially because I could get really off topic, but really, I don’t think that your relationship with a person is any more or less real if you met them in person or on Tinder.
Don’t make excuses like, “I’m sad because I went on Facebook and I didn’t get a message from someone who I thought was my friend.” Instead, why don’t you go and see them? Why don’t you message them and meet up later to talk? Maybe don’t bring your phone, if you don’t think you can leave it in your pocket the whole time.
The only way a difference is going to be made is not through a constant newsfeed to the world stating that there is, indeed, a problem, because we all know there is. As humans in a constant state of drifting from our natural culture, we can all sense it.
Instead, you should maybe try doing what you can and what you want in order to make your own life a little better. I think that we’d all be surprised at how much can change if we slowly and progressively stop acting like social media and technology dictate the outcome of our lives.
After all, isn’t that how we got here?
A physical, technological, hardware-based revolution has been occurring for centuries, but more recently there has been a drastic social change, which we all know about because of reasons that I just stated.
So, who’s to say that we can’t slow down or even reverse the social change? It’s only really been the last 15 or 20 years, right?
Stop giving all of your attention to what someone types from their phone and start talking to them in person. You can still text people. It’s not like texting was meant to be something that sent us all headfirst into the oblivion that is over thinking and over-analyzing. It’s just a way to stay in touch with someone when you need to.
Talk in person, though, as much as you can. Talk on the phone. I know it hurts a little at first; it’s awkward, but imagine how much worse it might be in 20 more years when we can’t even look each other in the eyes. Instead, let’s try to go backwards just a little bit.
Technology can keep coming, moving, improving. Whatever happens is going to happen.
But I can’t help but imagine a society in which we can rationally and calmly possess all of this technology yet still communicate with each other. I think it’s possible because I think people are smarter than they’re given credit for. Maybe I’m just idealistic or stupid. But even if this doesn’t work, I guess I can still say that I tried and I made my own life a little bit better in the process.
And that’s just the thing. It probably won’t work unless we all do it as individuals.
I think there’s an innate composition within our minds driving us to be with each other in the most genuine and natural way possible, the way we have related for hundreds of years. The only thing left to do is take the next step, and we can’t do it together; we can only do it ourselves.
That’s why it will be scary. But if we each do it ourselves, then I know that we will all start to notice our communities coming back together. We’ll notice a greater sense of awareness that isn’t only going to contribute to our personal well-being but also to our global well-being.
If we can just pull away from the make-believe bonds we have created in our minds, there will be a change of some kind. I’m not sure yet what it will be, but I know it will be good.
