“… and they lived happily ever after. The end.” Sound familiar? As young children, we were brainwashed into believing that all good people get their happily ever afters. One day you are going to meet your prince charming, slow dance with him at a ball, he’s going to track you down using the glass slipper you left behind (how did the shoe only fit Cinderella?), you’ll fall madly in love (because of a shoe?), and live happily ever after. Every girl's dream, right?
We fantasize about our weddings our whole lives. The magical day where we get to look like princesses and get our happy endings. The fairy tales didn’t give us the full story though. Where were the ups and downs? Did Cinderella and Prince Charming meet and get married a week later? Did they ever fight? Did Prince Charming ever speak before he thought? Did Cinderella ever freak out because Prince Charming said the wrong thing?
The tales made relationships seem easy, like love was the only thing that mattered. In reality, communication is what either makes or breaks a relationship. If Cinderella and Prince Charming did live happily ever after, there was probably more to the story than what was on the pages. Relationships are like roller coasters, some might be more extreme than others. Don’t get me wrong, I love thrill rides at theme parks, but if I’m trying to make the cliché comparison of my love life being a ride, I want it to be the children’s coaster that has as few twists and turns as possible.
This generation has been blessed with technology. It has made our lives easier on many fronts, but it has also minimized face-to-face interactions and personal experiences. We have come to think that a “good morning beautiful” text is romantic and liking pictures on Facebook is flirting. If that is your version of communicating, I’m sorry, there’s zero chance you get the happily ever after you’re looking for.
Texting lacks personality, and Facebook is public. Where did phone calls and dates go? What about conversations in person? How often do you find yourself reading a text in the tone of the mood you are currently in? Why are you typing paragraphs on your phone for hours when you could have picked up the phone and had the same conversation in half the time? Impersonal communication leaves too much up to the imagination. You can make things mean whatever you want them to mean. You can’t hear the person so you make up a voice in your head. Most of the relationships I’ve seen that have fallen apart involved people who texted each other all day, every day. What can you possibly talk about for ten hours straight? Are you really that interested in what your partner ate in the dining hall for lunch at exactly 1:03 p.m.? No. You’re making unnecessary conversation because you can.
People didn’t used to have cell phones and constant access to technology. Teenagers would wait until the end of the day to call their boyfriend or girlfriend, talk about their days and say their "I love yous." If they were going to fight or discuss emotions it would be over the phone or in person. Technology opened doors for video chatting (and I am forever grateful), but it has also given us the ability to misconstrue language and remove ourselves from vulnerable situations.
Maybe there’s a reason why we don’t hear as many happily ever after fairy tales anymore. Maybe they were just all written in simpler times. Focus on what you really want, your happily ever after, a life with your best friend, and think about the future. Think about when you are living together, laying in bed next to each other. Do you see yourselves arguing via text or Facebook message while laying next to each other? Do you see how ridiculous that sounds? If you don’t get used to intimate, personal communication now, how are you ever going to live your day-to-day life with the person you love?
I’m not suggesting we abandon social media or texting all together (I shamelessly ask my boyfriend to like my Facebook and Instagram posts), but I am suggesting we take the time to live in the moment. Experience life without constantly looking at your phone, maybe send an “I’m thinking about you” text or a cute puppy picture to your partner to let them know they are on your mind, but don’t let yourself rely on technology as your only means of communication. Who knows, maybe one day your Prince Charming will come knocking with your missing shoe (or a ring?), and when he does, you’ll be ready. Just remember, Cinderella and Prince Charming met at a ball, not behind a computer screen.
