I know that through life there are troubles and downfalls, struggles and mountains to climb. Though I may not be a wise old lady that tells the neighborhood children her morals, I do know that to make others happy we do not have to first tear ourselves apart.
I tended to be the friend who would have the shoulder ready for you to cry on, who would confront unwanted drama, and who would answer phone calls at three in the morning to make sure you’re alright. If there was a time that someone needed advice, I would come prepared and ready to offer my best thoughts and inspirational quotes. Some nights would be normal while others there would be no sleep and instead, driving to friends’ houses to comfort them after their breakups. Since I was a stronghold for many people, I was mending others' problems without noticing or fixing my own. Over the past couple of years, I have noticed that I tended to put others before myself to make myself feel better. I wanted to be the stronghold for so many, without recognizing that I, myself, may need a stronghold also.
There needed to come a time where I set boundaries for myself; so I did. Most people who want to be strong for others hold many of their problems in. People are afraid to show weakness in a world that is prone to violence and greed. But one shouldn’t feel that way. I decided that I cannot hold myself together for others without breaking apart. Though it is still a transition that I am not fond of entirely yet, I am letting people in slowly but surely. I allow them to see my see my struggles, whether I’m stressed out or I’m having an emotional day. I looked at opening up as a negative connotation. Boy, was I wrong.
At times, you need to notice that you need to take care of yourself more than others. We are consumed as a society to put others first. Your mother always told you to not be selfish. At certain moments, though, we need to be selfish and put ourselves first. Let go, and let people into your troubles. Let them see your rough days and allow them to help you with your struggles. It’s OK to treat yourself to a friendship, to quality time, to inside jokes. There will always be times when your friends need help. Be honest with yourself, though, you cannot help them in every situation. Life troubles will come, but remember that you have your own. Do not tear yourself apart to make others whole, the outcome will only result in more mountains to climb and holes to dig. I encourage you, and also myself, to understand that opening up is not weak, and making time for yourself is not horrible. Both create a process, which takes a long time to form, but will overall have a positive result.
