A Target Employee Addressed Me As “He” By Choice And It Brought Me Nothing But Joy

While I am not an antisocial person, I make minimal conversation among sales associates or cashiers. Being that I live in the South, I almost expect to hear "ma'am are you.." and then I assume if they are going to ask me if I found everything alright, but I tune most individuals out and just reply with "yes, thank you." However, one day at Target I needed help in a department I know little to nothing about.

From the corner of my eye, I saw the employee and they had a glow. Not just in physical characteristics, but the aroma around them seemed to be good natured. They asked me if I needed help and I hesitated. I even said I was just browsing around which was true, but in all honesty, I had no idea what half of the merchandise was as I was in the Beauty department. With all the face washes, makeup, and tools called beauty blenders I can only imagine the look I had in my eyes. Too, the" father" beside me was experiencing the same reaction as their child was happily looking at various brands of makeup.

So, after stating my little white lie of "just browsing" I went back up to the employee and explained that I am having breakouts and I am going through hormonal changes. I have had breakouts from my weekly testosterone injections and I blatantly asked the employee to recommend the top five face washes. (Don't worry I will share these face washes in another article). From the look on their face, I could tell the statement was surprising as I'm sure most individuals just ask about one product or none at all.

I was shown varying degrees of face washes, toners (which I have only ever heard about but knew nothing of), and moisturizers. I was impressed because the information given about a multitude of products and how they worked or are expected to work was up to par. While the information given was accurate, I felt the need to express the real reason I was looking for a better cleanser. Thus, I stopped the employee in their tracks and said "I am transitioning from female to male. It is like I am going through puberty all over again…actually I am in the middle of puberty as we speak, and I need help maintaining my acne".

I half expected a moment of silence, but half expected a smooth transition in subject from the vibes the employee was giving off. But, there was not a moment of silence between the two of us. Rather, their face brightened, and they became invested in finding the right wash for me. I saw them reach into their pocket and get their phone, hit Google and began searching just as I had done before going into Target. While we both had our phones out, another employee approached us and the employee helping me stated: "just one minute, I am helping him."

While we are all consumers by choice, we too are gendered by choice. That choice can be by a complete stranger, family member, or friend, yet choice is determined by an individual at will. As human beings, we have the choice to identify, be recognized, and respected. And let me tell you, being addressed with the correct pronoun brought pure joy to my heart. None the less, the employee smiled at me after using my pronoun as a way to express their genuineness. I couldn't help but say "thank you" as I proceeded to the checkout line with my facial cleanser. Now, let's hope it helps.

Full disclosure: This employee has been addressed the entire article as "they" because they respected me as a human being. Something as simple as using "he" when addressing me gives me hope that more individuals will give the respect that we all deserve and that is to be recognized for the individual we are. #TakePride