If anyone has the power to save your Instagram game its Tana Mongeau. Even though Tana is still relatively new to the music scene she honestly has some straight-up bangers. By now you've probably heard her newest track "F*ck Up," and if you haven't you need to close this and go there right now. I'm serious. So in honor of the queen releasing her best song to date, here are all the Instagram captions you'll ever need courtesy of the one, the only, Tana (tana, tana, tana, tana).
If you want to flex but your insta has to be 'brand-friendly':
1. "My bank is just fine, get your money up"
2. "More ice on my wrist than tuition for your daughter"
3. "I'm sorry I'm rich and you're not"
4. "Cash come in lumps"
5. "Came from the Prius but I'm in Suburbans"
6. "I'm taking W's"
7. "My whole team they filthy rich"
8. "Sponsors they blow up my phone"
9. "Catch me in purple and gold"
10. "Catch me with a matching Rolly"
11. "Your paycheck is one of my room service bills"
12. "I be in Hollywood Hills"
13. "Paychecks like the NBA"
14. "Got the money from all of my hate"
15. "Put Louis all on my back"
16. "Clouty with a chance of more cash"
17. "High in the clouds sittin' first class"
18. "I'm a Gucci princess"
19. "Everybody love you when you pull up in a Bentley"
20. "Ima be on Forbe's list, I ain't even 20"
If you want to throw shade but you tame:
21. "Got my name all in your mouth"
22. "Your tweet just gave me clout"
23. "When they shop at urban they think that they splurgin'"
24. "Sorry for your loss, I'm taking W's"
25. "Your boyfriend in all my DMs, I don't even follow him back"
26. "Cut you off if you act shady"
27. "No, I can't post you on Snap"
28. "They love to hate cause my body is real"
29. "Got your man's wrapped around my finger like some Play-Doh"
30. "Acting like you popping but your inbox empty"
If you're honestly too real for Instagram:
31. "They say I'm fake, say I've changed"
32. "I don't mean to flex though"
33. "I promise I hate me more than you do"
34. "I gotta lose me or I lose you"
35. "They wonder why I'm always smoking"
36. "Gained some fame and now they wanna use you"
37. "Make the whole world my opponent"
38. "They wonder why I'm never focused"
39. "I can't even live in the moment"
40. "Cause I'm a f*ck up"
41. "All these voices in my head won't shut the f*ck up"
42. "They wonder why I'm f*cking broken"
If you're just a relatable queen:
43. "Uber outside wait a minute"
44. "No, but really I'm a rapper now"
45. "I don't have any regrets"
46. "I'm starting to feel like a diva"
47. "I gotta keep my social blade green"
48. "Body of Versace, face like Fendi"
49. "The life and style that I'm used to"
50. "Poppin off like champagne"
51. "Destination LAX"
52. "It's 5 p.m. and I just woke the f*ck up"
53. "I'm still the same b*tch"
If you are a true stan and are posting your pic while you're high AF:
54. "woah, yeah"
55. "aye, woah"
56. "Tana, Tana, Tana"
57. "Tana, Tana, Tana, Tana, Tana"
58. "Kobe, Kobe, Kobe, Kobe, Woah"
59. "You feel me, yeah."
60. "deadahh, deadahh, deadahh"
61. "Face Four Loko"
62. "I really think that I'm Kobe"
63. "B*tch, I can't drive"
If you a bad b*tch and you're feelin yourself hard:
64. "F*ck on your b*tch like I'm Hefner"
65. "No fake in my tits but I'll check hers"
66. "Gold in my blunts, it be rolling up"
67. "Playmate of the month"
68. "She say he was good but I'm better"
69. "I want Gucci shit so I buy it"
70. "Open up your IG b*tch I'm trending"
71. "I'll drop 5k on a drop of f*cking water"
72. "Stay sauced up like I'm chow mein"
73. "Keys full of bumps"
74. "All these b*tches out here tryna be a playmate, but I wanna be Hugh Hefner"
If you bad and you shady AF:
75. "These hoes are so basic"
76. "B*tch is so plain"
77. "B*tch I'm your daddy (like take me on Maury)(daddy)"
78. "Your head a$ can't walk in here"
79. "I don't give a f*ck, life's unfair"
80. "B*tch I'm your dad, I'm a deadbeat"
81."Your b*tch buy tickets to my meet and greet"
82. "B*tch I can't call you back"
83. "I can't f*ck with broke boys"
84. "I only f*ck with ballers"
85. "Ima make it rain on your girl's a$"
86. "All you b*tches trippin' like you got a sprained ankle"
87. "If you f*ckin hate me why you tryna get a photo"
88. "I ain't got the time of day for any of you broke hoes"
89. "You can call me Xana Mongeau"
