No, The 'Talking Phase' Doesn't Need To Die
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No, The 'Talking Phase' Doesn't Need To Die, I Want To Know What I'm Getting Into BEFORE I Commit

Why pass up the opportunity to know who you're about to commit to?

No, The 'Talking Phase' Doesn't Need To Die, I Want To Know What I'm Getting Into BEFORE I Commit

I don't get it. I truly don't. Why would anyone want to "end" a stage where you get to know someone?

Sure. How whimsical would it be to just go dancing and meet a charming man who takes you home in his car… maybe giving you a kiss before you go?

Maybe, he asks you to meet him again the next week at the soda parlor? Maybe you arrange a nice quiet date at the park or beach as you fall in love (if you're a bird, I'm a bird!).


Dating and courting sound fun, but how can that truly transfer into the modern age? My phone is on me almost always. I'm not addicted, I just need to be there when grandma calls.

I would like to be there when Daisha from tennis tells me the soccer house is throwing a party.

I need to be there to talk to a friend in need.

It's convenient.

Cellphones are in our pockets. So, let's think for a moment… what did the previous generations do?

Ask your parents, and they'll say they waited by the phone to hear from their beau on weeknights. They saw them whenever they could, and then they went steady and got married.

I saw "The Notebook," and we all totally wanted a Noah to our Ally. But here's the thing... technology changed. We changed. Things change.

In a digital age, we have FaceTime. We have Skype. We have ways to talk to the person who jumpstarts our hearts in ways we never did before.

I would prefer to know someone and their thoughts via text, FaceTime, or phone call first before I decide to dive in further.

No matter the way you meet, the "talking" stage is important. The guy from Soc 101 could totally be hardcore pro-life when you're pro-choice, or vice versa. Maybe he's just dull.

One thing is for sure: the "talking" stage pulls back the veil in a way we've never seen in history. You get to know someone on their deepest level.

How far you take it is up to you.

So, I have a proposition for us all: we can bring back serious dates. Nothing in the rulebook says you can't propose going for a milkshake or some other cutesy date.

Bringing back dating culture doesn't mean we should end a "talking" stage.

Dating always had a "talking" stage, we just didn't have the means to do so before that. How you define it is up to you.

Personally, though, I do enjoy falling asleep over FaceTime. I like hearing about someone's day over text. And I like a good screenshot of their astrology chart. Just because Woolworth's doesn't have a soda counter anymore, doesn't mean there's not a library somewhere to pick out poetry.


Girl, what I'm telling you is this: the possibilities are endless.

Why force the dating aspect you want when it can become SO clear who you're "talking to" doesn't hold the same values you do?

Some people prefer slow, romantic, and cute.

Some want to speed it up.

Who has a right to judge?

We don't have to give up one for the other. You may prefer the mystery. Hey girl, that's up to you, but I'll take knowing my guy inside and out before putting a ring on it.

How do you know he's a good dad until he can take your puppy for a walk, too?

Don't call for an end to a "stage" we value.

Meet someone who meets you in the middle and get to know them first. Anyone else isn't worth your time.

Follow Swoon on Instagram.

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