It's time we talked about what I like to call "Red Cross Syndrome."
Since the beginning of time, "nice guys" are always complaining about how women only go after men who treat them like crap. Maybe if we actually took a second to notice them, then we'd finally be happy.
Gag.
Women don't go after men because they treat us like crap. You could ask any girl if they like feeling like their stomach just turned inside out because they haven't gotten a text back, or they saw their significant other with another girl. Nobody likes that feeling, period.
The reason why people go after jerks is because they have Red Cross Syndrome.
Red Cross Syndrome is believing that you can change someone for the better, no matter how awful they may treat you. Red Cross Syndrome is always making excuses and staying unhappy, because the person you're with gives you a tiny sliver of hope every now and again. They make you believe that, "hey, maybe deep, deep down, there is still the person they could be." And people with RCS want to believe that they would be able to unlock this person and life would be like a Disney movie.
The issue with RCS is that it never goes away. Most girls with RCS see the hottest mess they can find and instantly fall in love from the time that they can have those feelings to the day they die. They can try to be with a nice boy, but chances are, they'll get bored very easily and move on to someone who is a little more their speed (aka a hot mess).
There is nothing wrong with loving someone who cannot love themselves. It actually speaks volumes about a person. But there needs to be a limit. I cannot tell you how many tears I've seen shed over a boy who could not care less, or how many times the girl thinks it's her fault. It's really not; it's our maternal nature coming out. It's human to want to fix things. The most important thing to remember is that you cannot force people to fix themselves. If you could, the world would be a very different, very weird place. All you can do is know when enough is enough, and support them until that point. If people aren't in a position to love you back, then you can't force that. They have to get to a point where they reach that conclusion themselves. It sucks, tremendously, but if you truly care about them, then you'll realize it's what both parties involved need.
I suffer from RCS. I go through hell and back for people I love. And it's not stopping any time soon. My advice? Know that your self-worth is defined by the people who can't accept your love.
