I’m that girl you hear saying “Hi Mom!” as she walks across campus. I’m the one who says, “Hang on a minute, I’ve got to call my mom real quick.” At the beginning of my first semester, I wasn’t proud of this. It seemed like a very dependent thing to do. It seemed like only the kids who were struggling called home. As if calling home meant you were homesick.
My family is a huge part of my life. I struggled coming to a college where no one knew my family, thus they didn’t know a huge chunk of my heart. Something I had to work through was finding my identity in Christ instead of my family. But just because people didn’t know my family, I didn’t want to stop knowing my family. Just because I didn’t live in the same house, didn’t go to the same school, didn’t share weekends together with my family, I didn’t want to stop knowing their lives.
So yes, I do call my family, a lot. I try to talk to my mom every day (which doesn’t always happen but that’s okay) and I try to FaceTime the whole group of family members who are still at home once a week. College is hard, and trying to balance extracurriculars, classes, and life is tough. Sometimes what you need is a call home to Mom or Dad, a listening ear who knows you and knows your heart. They know the way you work, they know you through and through, and they’re full of wisdom.
When I don’t talk to my mom every day, I end up having so much to talk about with her that it’s an hour-long conversation, which then you have to plan out for but don’t really have time for, and all of a sudden three weeks have gone by and you haven’t talked to your family. So yes, it’s okay to not talk to your family. I get it, college is busy and different families have different dynamics. But for me, having my family a phone call away has been a lifesaver.
Here are my three points of advice for all my fellow college mates:
1. Do call your family.
And not just when you need them. They need you and miss you, so call them every once and awhile even if you don’t need anything from them.
2. Don’t just call the family that’s still at home.
Call your grandparents, they love you and love hearing about your life. Call your siblings who are just as busy with their lives as you are with yours, but have great insight about the adult world or will laugh with you about a joke only your siblings will understand.
3. Don’t give up on it.
Like I said, it can be really overwhelming when the short minutes you planned to talk turn into 30 minutes or an hour. It can be overwhelming when your family starts talking at the same time, but it's worth it.
I have been incredibly blessed by continuing my relationship with my parents, siblings, and extended family even after leaving home. So although many people “Don’t Talk to Their Family, and That’s Okay”, I talk to my family and that’s okay too.
