You know the biggest pet peeve that I have is dealing with people who can’t answer their phone but are quick to call and scolded you for not answering your phone the one time you miss their call, compared to the dozens of times that they have failed to answer their phone when you’ve called. The biggest peeve of all is when it’s your own flesh and blood (YES, ESSENCE I’M TALKING TO YOU). So to get this horrible feeling off my chest I thought I’d send an important message out to all those distant cousins that complain about lack of communication in the relationship who fail to communicate. So here goes….
Dear “Distant” Cousin,
I’m sorry that I missed your one call yesterday. A call that would really be centered on you and you alone, lacking the proper dual communication where you ask me “Enough about me, how have you been?” and I respond with an answer, instead choosing to discuss how you’re at work bored and need someone to keep you up for the rest of your 30-minute shift, making it a point to then say I wouldn’t have called you if such-and-such wasn’t at work as well. (side note: it should be noted that there is an obvious three-hour time difference) I also apologize that during your call I was in a class lecture where I’d have much rather gotten today’s lesson that could quite possibly help me with my career in the future as opposed to discuss trivial things such as the latest entertainment news. I send my sincerest apologizes **insert sarcasm**.
However, cousin, who’s not really distant because she’s my first cousin, it’s imperative that you know that communication works both ways. In a situation where you want to have a conversation be aware that you’re not having a conversation by yourself, it should not be one-sided where I’m constantly hearing about you and not able to share any news about myself. For instance, did you know that just as important as your latest make-up tutorials vlogs are to you my current education accomplishments are to me. Wouldn’t you like to know how college is going and how I’M doing? No, well obviously.
Also since we’re talking and this is the one chance that I might get to vent to you, did you happen to notice that I’m always there when you call but you’re never there when I call. You are quite possibly the worst person to be there when it matters (said in my Drake voice). You miss important cues that let’s you know that I’m having a problem. You know we’re not as close as we used to be. It pains me to say that, maybe if you spent more time trying to be as good of a cousin to me as I am to you then you wouldn’t feel quite distant to me.
Sincerely,
Your Forced Distant Cousin
See readers, it’s important to understand that communication is key in ALL and ANY relationships. Family is important and you never know when it’s important to lend a listening ear. However, sometimes it’s important for the roles to be reversed sometimes, take a moment and listen to the other’s highs and lows. Stop ignoring them when it’s okay for you and angry at them when you won’t the attention you choose not to give out. Your family is your biggest support system and 9 chances out of 10 the longest lasting relationship you will ever have; friends are disposable your family is NOT.
The next time you’re near your phone and you notice that you have a missed call from someone that normally doesn’t call you but answers when you call, CALL THEM BACK. Far too often, we wedge a brick wall between our relationships with our family due to a failure to communicate. A relationship is equal just as much as you put in the relationship so should the other.
Stop and think about this, use my experience and advice to help yours. If you’ve never experienced this don’t worry you will but try your damnedest to avoid it. Surprisingly, those same people that you’ve been ignoring will be the only person there for you when it matters. Now, take that into deep consideration.
