I was sitting in my 10 a.m. class, when I noticed someone doing something unusual. This person was sitting on their phone and quickly “swiping right” on their screen. I was confused as to what they were doing when I realized: this person was on Tinder. This incident just exemplifies how online dating apps like Tinder and Grindr have become a part of everyday life. Almost everyone I know has an account on one of these sites and yet, they all seem embarrassed about it. Maybe the lessons in “stranger danger” and “online predators” have stuck with many people, or perhaps many users fear accusations of being “shallow” because of the visual interface. (For those who do not use these sites, users decide whether they are interested in talking to other users based primarily on pictures.) However, for many college students who are juggling school, work and a social life, it seems more and more common to meet someone through an online dating app. for this reason, I think there is an increasing need to discuss appropriate etiquette on these virtual spheres. A quick list of problems that I've found or heard about on these varied sites are:

1. I think that one major issue with online dating, is the rules of physical engagement can become more ambiguous. However, the same rules of consent apply to online dating as they do in person. By this, I mean it is not acceptable to assume that everyone who uses an online dating site is looking to pursue a sexual relationship, or to just “hook up.” Therefore, it is always inappropriate to send someone a graphic or "nude" image without warning. It is also inappropriate to set a explicit photo as your profile picture, or to send an explicit message as an introduction. Those who send these types of messages should understand that very few people find this approach to be flattering and some would consider this sexual harassment.

2. Another problem is the issue of respecting boundaries. These may appear to be less intimidating online. However, it is essential to respect others' privacy in the process of online dating, particularly because a majority who meet on these cites are strangers. Everyone has the right to change their minds on pursuing a romantic relationship, regardless of how much interested or flirtatious they may appear. It is not acceptable to be angry with someone because they decide to not respond to a message, or they don't want to meet in person. I emphasize that if someone becomes aggressive during a conversation, it is possible to block and report them. Pressuring someone into doing or saying things they are not comfortable with is another form of harassment.

3. Lastly, everyone should be aware that casual racism is very much present in online dating. As OK Cupid co-founder Christian Rudder said, “Black users, especially, there’s a bias against them. Every kind of way you can measure their success on a site — how people rate them, how often they reply to their messages, how many messages they get — that’s all reduced.” Racism can also be found in certain "sexual preferences.” This is not to say that you can't find certain people attractive because of their physical appearance. It should not be based on stereotypical ideas held about people of certain races. It is important to understand that people do not find this type of attraction to be complimentary, but rather extremely offensive. For anyone who faces this type of racism on any of these sites, remember it is within your rights to block and report them.

These are a variety of issues I've have noticed about these sites. As the popularity of online dating apps rise, I hope there will be a greater community of individuals who feel comfortable sharing their experience, tips and warnings openly. I hope users will start understanding there are certain behaviors that are universally unacceptable, just because these conversations take place online, does not mean they don't directly conflict with other people’s lives.