I was sitting in class twiddling my thumbs when the teacher called on me.
“Timmy, do you know how to find the hypotenuse of a right triangle?” She said to me.
I pretended to think about the answer. I honestly didn’t know, but I had to pretend to in order to make sure that Sally noticed.
“Ummm...” I said
“It’s a simple question, Timmy, do you know it?” She said impatiently
“No, Ms. Doddol, I don’t, ” I said finally admitting defeat.“Well, maybe if you paid attention you would know,” she said in a condescending tone. I sunk back in my chair.
I looked over at Sally, oh beautiful Sally. She was giggling at me. I wasn’t sure if she thought I was cute or a complete moron.
“Hey dimwit,” said Butch, the kid who sits in front of me.
I turn to face him, “what do you want, Butch?”
“Just to tell you, you use the Pythagorean theorem to find the hypotenuse.”
Again with the condescending tone, am I destined to be looked down on?
“Thanks, Butch” I tried to copy him but it sounds more depressing then anything. It doesn’t help that the class bully, Butch, is also the smartest kid in class. He’ll beat you up physically and mentally. I think his parents are MESA members or something. He has those, “I’m smarter than you and I like to show it off” Ray-Ban black thick rim glasses. I also have the same pair (mine are store brand). I think he’s mad at me for copying him when it was me who had them in the first place!
I looked back over at Sally. She was still giggling. Yep, she thinks I’m a moron.
I knew I was never going to be the smartest in the class (thank you Butch!) so I try to be the class clown. I always fail at it because I’m not funny. My timing is all wrong. I looked up some comedians and tried to copy their stuff but that just ends up with my mom having to come in and talk to the teacher.
Really, I do it all to impress Sally. She’s really the only reason I do anything. What ever group she’s in for free time, I’m there. I know I’m only in fourth grade, but I already feel I found true love. Her long straight blonde hair could make any day better. Her giggles are contagious. But alas, I have not told her how I feel.
After lunchtime the whole class went out for recess. This was it. I was going to confess my love to Sally. I had written her a haiku, I just hoped she liked it.
I approached the giant tree were she would usually hang out during recess. I practice what I was going to say over and over again.
“Sally I have to to tell you something.” I said approaching the tree. “I love-”
I saw Butch kissing Sally. My heart sank, I was at a loss for words. I held the haiku close to me.
Butch turned around and saw me.
“What do want, delinquent?” He said approaching me.
A tear fell down my check. I was holding back the water works.
“Nothing, Butch.” I said snuffling
“What’s that?” Butch points at the haiku. I hold it tighter.
“It’s nothing Butch.” I step further back, trying to leave space between us.
“Give it to me.” He holds his hand out.
“No!” I take a step back.
“Do you want to get hurt?” He takes a step forward.
“I’m not giving it to you!” I take another step back holding the paper tight.
He takes a few steps forward. There is less then a foot between us.
“Are you going to give it to me?”
“NO BUTCH!” I yelled so loud I thought the whole town heard. He snatched it from me so fast I didn’t have time to react.
“Let’s see what it says.” He says to Sally. He started reading it.
That was it. I was defeated. I knew that there was nothing left to do. I just walked away.
“There are so many spelling errors,” He yelled laughing, “and it ‘s not even in the right format. It goes 5-7-5 not 7-5-7 you dyslexic twit.”
See what I have to deal with?
***
You are the prettiest gurl,
I have every seen,
will you make me a sand-witch?
***
I sat at the kitchen table, my batman glass filled with mommy juice, it burned down my throat but somehow it felt okay. I had been defeated. There was nothing else for me to go on. My mom walked in.
“Timmy, what are doing?!!” She yelled, “Is that my J&B?”
She took the bottle away from the table.
“Mom,” I say, “I can see why you drink so much of that. Problems just seem to go away.” I finished my glass.
She sits down, “Timmy, what’s the matter? I’m really worried. Why would need to drink?”
“I confessed my love to Sally.” I slurred, “And I don’t think she took it well.”
“Why is that, honey?” She asked.
“Well,” I paused, “I did it while she was kissing Butch.”
“Well I guess that’s just bad timing.” She says, trying to console me.
“Yeah that’s me.”
“Maybe next time, you should think about what you are going to say and when you’re going to say it.”
No! Not her too! I expect the condescending tone from Butch and Ms.Doddol but not from my own mother!
“You know what-” I said stumbling out of my chair. I fell on the ground and my mom tries to help me up.
“No, no, I can do this myself,” I say brushing her off. I stand up but even I find that hard. “I going to my bed. If you need me, I’ll be right here” I circle around like a dog, fall on the ground, put my hands under my head and passed out.
There’s something sad and charming about this story.
The End
Author's Note: This is a work of fiction. I do not condone under-age drinking. No matter how hilarious the situation.
