"Orange Is The New Black" is one of those shows that I binge watch the moment it is released.

The characters are enticing, the writing is amazing, and overall the show is flawless. Yet, the thing that interests me the most about the show is the theme song “The Animals” by Regina Spektor. There is a line that, even after five seasons, still shocks me to the core. “Taking steps is easy, standing still is hard." It’s such a simple concept, but it’s so relevant to my life that it takes my breath away.

Before I explain, I have to say that I’m more than aware that the lyric has nothing to do with me. The lyric shows that an inmate’s life in prison will always stay the same. They aren’t working towards anything or achieving anything and, yet, time moves on. Life outside of prison walls moves on, even if you aren’t around to see it. That sucks.

Yet, music is subjective. People are bound to tangle their lives into the songs that they love, no matter how far they are bound to stray from the song’s original intention. For me, these lyrics showcase that I’m stuck in the walls of college while life moves on without me.

I’m one of the first people in my family to move away to college at the age of eighteen. When I left, my mom told me not to worry about missing anything because back at home, they are going through the motions.

But it gets harder to accept this.

My little sister is growing up without me. Every time that I see her, she gets a little bit taller and she talks so differently. It’s like I left this little elementary school kid at home, and I get back and she’s this strong young lady. My parents are getting older (sorry, guys), my high school is still performing plays, and I’m still trying to get my degree.

I’m not much different from who I was in high school. I still do a lot of the same activities; I still write and I still have my nose stuck in books. Sometimes, it’s impossible not to feel like the world is changing around me, and I’m still stuck on a task that I’ll be continuing for the next seven years of my life.

I’m not saying I’m not happy, unlike the prison inmates that Regina sings about. I’m not stuck in school. If I wanted to, I could hop on a bus and leave the life that I know forever. I could renew my passport, take a plane to a foreign country and have the adventure of a lifetime. But I don’t want to do any of that. I actively chose the life that I have now because I want a career. I want this education more than anything in my life.

Is it so awful that I want it now, that I’m so physically impatient to get to the stage in life where I feel like I’m moving to a career instead of being in school for the sake of being in school? Will I ever get there?

I'm sure I will. I'm taking my steps, and it's really easy. I refuse to stand still.