Relationships is a topic that I don't normally like to discuss. Relationships scare the hell out of me. Falling for someone, trusting someone, and opening up to someone all scares me. I have done this a couple of times and either I was hurt or I hurt someone. Getting over someone that you love is never easy and it sucks. I have been single for 2 years now and it has been the best time. Sure I get lonely but then I remember all the work that has to be put into a relationship and I'm not sad anymore. I know relationships are fun. They are a beautiful thing but right now in my life I'm not ready for one. When I was growing up all I wanted to do was go to college. I was determined since day one and I won't let anything take that away.
Since I am still figuring out life right now I don't need a man guiding me in a direction that he wants. I know a couple of things I want in life and I don't want to change anything for a guy. I know that probably sounds harsh but what if I were to change my dreams for a guy and then it didn't work out. I would hate myself for letting a guy change what I wanted to do. I'm not saying that guys are poison. I know some guys out there are amazing people and they deserve a girl that will treat them right.
Guy's in college are so different. Sure they're still figuring who they are but the things they do. They only want girls that are skinny and drop dead gorgeous and if you aren't that they won't give you the time of day. I know I'm not perfect but I have a killer personality and these guys should be able to look past looks. The guys these days break women's self-esteem and that's not right. I don't want to waste my time on a guy that will move on the next girl cause she has more to offer.
Right now, if I was looking for a guy I would be looking for a guy that I want to spend the rest of my life with. Also, I would want a grown up relationship not a high school relationship. But, I am not ready for a serious relationship. I don't know what I want to do. I am still learning about myself everyday. I am 18 years old. I am in college. This is the time to go out and have fun! We're supposed to make stupid decisions and regret them in the morning. I like that I don’t have someone expecting anything from me. I like that I don’t have to tell someone where I am all the time. So far I have had the time of my life being at college. I have a ton of friends and sorority sisters to be there for me when I need some attention. I am so genuinely happy right now and I don't want to change that. I have learned how to love my self and love spending time alone. These are two things women struggle with and I'm so happy I have been able to learn them.
Now, I'm not saying that if I met a guy right now I would not talk to him. If someone comes around they come around, I'm just not looking for someone. I'm not completely shutting out love. I would love to fall in love with some again it's just not the right time. I am enjoying my single life and I'm not ready to give it up.
