In the late summer of 2012 I packed my bags and moved cross country, from small town, Sherborn, Massachusetts to (equally as small town) Orange, California. The prospect of starting over in a new place, one equipped with sunshine and 365 days of summer had me rearing to get going. I didn’t know it yet, but at that time I wasn’t quite ready to leave.

The high school I went to stressed the importance of a college education. Ranked the number one public high school in Massachusetts year after year, with a graduation rate of 98.1 percent and my graduating class committed to more Ivy League schools than in any year before, the pressure was real.

The idea of taking a gap year was mentioned to me in passing by my beloved guidance counselor and close family. However, the stigma of being one of the few kids (if not the only one) in my class who decided to defer for a year made this idea simply not an option for me, at least not one I was willing to take at the time. I didn’t want to risk the embarrassment of monotonously having to explain to my friends, their parents, or my teachers why I wasn’t starting my college education in the fall.

And so I went for it. In my gut I always had an uneasy feeling about the move, which surmounted past the point of normal pre-college jitters. Reluctantly, I chose to ignore these feelings for as long as I could, which was not very long. I stayed on the West Coast for two months before deciding that I couldn’t take the anxiety and discomfort of being in a place I ultimately felt I didn’t belong.

Deciding to leave mid-way through the semester was one of the hardest, yet in retrospect, best decisions I’ve made in my life thus far. I know myself, and I knew that if I stayed in the California sun one second longer I’d boil past the point of no return - both literally and figuratively. The lifestyle just wasn’t for me and that’s okay.

It’s not to say coming home was easy. Remember those judgmental looks and questions I was so worried about facing had I chose to take a gap year originally? Well, upon returning home I faced them, and to an even harsher degree. I dreaded running into parents I knew from home while working one of the three part-time jobs I picked up for the months of November and December.

Each time the conversation consisted of them acting so surprised to see how “well” I was doing, as If I had suffered some sort of illness and was now in recovery. A few of my friends from high school were supportive of my choice, commending me for having the strength to remove myself from a toxic situation. However, the majority of them looked at me like I was a social pariah, questioned if I’d ever complete my college degree and even if it was unintentional, rubbed their “happiness” of being at school and living the college experience to the fullest in my face. Needless to say, it was the family and friends that supported me during this time that are still in my life today.

It is unrealistic that at 18, after living a fairly sheltered life and being supported completely by your parents that you are ready to make such a life changing decision. I know I wasn’t, even if I told myself I was at the time to move so far, so fast.

In January of 2013 I moved to Denmark, to live with my mom who was house sitting for family friends of ours in a small village outside of Copenhagen. I became fully immersed in the wonderful, liberal lifestyle of the Danish world. I was enthralled with the fashion, architecture, and spirit of the Danes. The captivating tall blondes zooming by on bicycles and the cold, but fresh, winter air made it easy to forget about the stress I left behind in the U.S. I made friends with the locals, and spent my days walking the city streets, taking thousands of photos and writing in my journal. We stayed for nearly 3 months and the experience is one that I will be forever grateful for.

I continued to work once I returned home and had applied to colleges in Boston while I was abroad, ultimately landing at Suffolk.

After taking those 10 months to get to know myself and what I really wanted in a college I finally felt confident in my decision. Going to school in Boston, about an hour from my hometown, made it so that I could feel as far away when needed, with the comfort of knowing home was within reach.

College straight out of high school isn’t for everyone, although it may be unconventional, I strongly encourage all high school seniors to reconsider their options.

Living in a vibrant city like Boston is completely different from the town I grew up in. I have learned so much these past two and a half years and I can’t wait to see what the next few have to offer. I have made amazing friends, landed a pretty kick-ass internship and met the love of my life all while being at Suffolk, making the decision to leave California and take time off one of my best yet.