Before I went to college I counted down the days until summer and when school was finally out I never wanted it to start again. However, now I'm in college and I've realized that my desire to get back to school is stronger than my desire to live a lifelong summer. This realization has shocked my parents and my friends from home who have not yet had the college experience but is fairly common amongst many college students. It's not that we suddenly enjoy waking up early to go to classes, spending late nights in the libraries, or eating nothing but food from the dining hall for weeks at a time. That fact of the matter is that college has become our home and the center of our social lives and removing us from it turns our lives upside down.
When we are at school we aren't just learning. We are making meaningful connections with other students who start out as strangers and quickly become our pseudo-family. Being back at home I miss my school family who supported me all year. When I feel down its weird not being able to knock on my neighbor's door and have a heart-to-heart talk. I know I have my amazing mom down the hall, but there are just some things that you need to talk to people your age about.
I also miss the freedom I had at school. At home my parents still feel as if they are responsible for me, which I love because it shows how much they care. With that being said, I still do miss being able to leave my room at 8 p.m. and not come back until 4 a.m. sometimes. Remembering to tell my parents where I'm going and when I'll be home feels like I'm giving up my new found freedom and control. I know they trust me and only ask because they care, but it still feels like I'm a little kid again every time I have to tell my mom I'm just driving over to the grocery store to pick up some fruit.
Being home also makes me realize how much I've grown as a person while I was at school. I don't quite fit in my old world anymore. I kept in touch with some friends from high school while I was at college, but for the most part, I have drifted away from my old life and old friends. I will always cherish my memories with them but I can't see myself ever fitting in with them the same way again, and that is normal and ok.
At this point, I feel like being home keeps me in a stagnant position and I want to go back to college and continue growing. I love having the opportunity to be home for a short period of time, but after being home for two weeks I am ready to get back out into the college world and explore.
