Demi Lovato's Called-Off Engagement Reminds Us Of The Importance Of Taking Our Time In Relationships
While this may be another hardship she sadly has to endure, I know she will find a way to inspire and help others through it.
I am heartbroken.
About two months ago, Demi Lovato and Max Ehrich blessed our Instagram feeds with the most beautiful proposal. It seemed like they were so in love — full of vivacious energy and bright smiles. However, underneath the proposal and all its fairytale glory was a slight crack, one that most people chose to look past, including myself.
Demi and Max had really only been in a serious relationship since March when they started quarantining together.
Unfortunately, this would later prove to be an issue and they've since called off their engagement. No matter how in-love the couple appeared to be on our Instagram feeds, marrying someone after only knowing them for five months is not ideal. Not to mention, being forced to be inseparable due to quarantine put an unrealistic mask over their relationship.
A quarantine relationship is simply not a real relationship.
Quarantine, for some couples, was essentially bliss. There were no busy work schedules or socializing with other people. It was just Demi and Max all day, all the time, enjoying the warm California weather poolside. And they fell madly, deeply in-love during this time, causing them to rush the relationship to the extreme.
Unfortunately, in our society, we seem to be conditioned to believe we always need to be in a relationship. And that, at some point, we need to get married before we're "too old."
I don't know Demi personally, and I probably never will, but there are a lot of people who believe love is like oxygen. Without it, we feel like we're dying. We want to be loved, but more importantly, we want to show we are "lovable." What's even worse, though, is so many people believe they need to prove this by marrying before a certain age. And so, they rush their relationships.
We fall so in love with people during the honeymoon phase that we can forget to look at them in a different light. We forget to recognize their bad traits and their shortcomings. We forget to really know them for who they are and not the person they are trying to be to impress us.
We are sure they are the person we want to spend the rest of our lives with, so why wouldn't we just take that leap as soon as possible so we can fit society's standards before it's "too late"?
But if you don't finish the fairytale, how do you really know if the characters are meant to be together?
Oftentimes, from the outside looking in, our friends are the first to notice a relationship just isn't meant to be. Outsiders are more likely to notice the cracks that our lovesick puppy eyes glaze right over.
Demi's friends expressed their own hesitancy: "People close to Demi have expressed that they are worried and are hesitant about Max."
Demi couldn't see that this relationship wasn't meant to be, and anyone who has been in love knows you just aren't going to see it in the "fairytale stage." However, if she had just given the relationship more time and not rushed it, she might have eventually seen Max's shortcomings, too. Shortcomings that just weren't going to form a lifelong relationship.
Demi has been through a lot in her life, and she continues to inspire me and countless other people every day. While this may be another hardship she sadly has to endure, I know she will find a way to inspire and help others through it.
This is devastating — for her, her family, and her fans. Everyone just wants her to finally find happiness, as she seems to have found within herself. But maybe her time to love herself, maybe her time to be independent, just isn't over yet.
And if we can learn anything from this situation, it's that it's OK not to rush a relationship. Take it slow. Enjoy the fairytale stage and mature together into the next stage. It may get harder before it gets blissful again, but if you take things one step at a time, you'll be ready for marriage. On your time, not on society's time.
And if it's your time to be a single, independent, boss babe like Demi, live it up! There's no need to rush a relationship or into a relationship.
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