The punishment for breaking any of the rules: Seven years of "Twilight" memes.
When did being a good friend get so hard? There are enough problems in the world to have to deal with even more mean girls. Since so many young women seem to struggle with the basics of no judgment, no backstabbing, etc., I brought rules to the table.
Here are the top 10 girl code commandments, part one.
1. Never date a friend's ex or crush. Ever!
What are you, flipping stupid? You could have anyone. You could be Shawn Mendes wife, instead, you choose your friend's man, ex-man, or crush. You're scraping at the bottom of the bucket for someone who, 50% of the time, is doing it for revenge. I do not need a degree to see how little you think of yourself when you're taking your bestie's sloppy seconds. Great women don't do dumb stuff they can't recover from.
2. Gas your fellow woman up when she looks amazing!
If she looks great: Tell her she's Beyonce. Treat her like the Queen and Goddess we all know she is. Women critique the crap out of their own bodies, it is so difficult to love and accept one's own body.
Be the wife she wishes she could have. Set the standard for her future man. You are the bestie, be that bestie.
3. And calm that girl down when she looks terrible.
We all love our fellow woman but it is your responsibility as a phenomenal bestie to stop your wife dead in her tracks when she looks a hot mess. Tell her when her makeup looks too much for a first date, or when you know she won't get hired in a hoodie.
4. If you arrive together, you leave together.
Link arms, march out together. At the end of the night: pile into an Uber and drag yo self home.
5. Your bestie's secrets die with you.
Got a secret, can you keep it?
The shallowest people are those that spread private secrets like wildfire. Let me guess, only God can judge you? God doesn't like snitches.
6. Check in on every and any girl.
If you see a woman who is talking to a man and she seems uncomfortable — pretend she's your best friend. Ask her how her day is, offer her a ride home, go get McDonald's, have a sleepover. It doesn't even have to be walking up to a stranger in a club; let your sorority sisters know they're appreciated, text your BFF or let your childhood best friend know that they're missed.
7. Any girl can be a potential sleepover buddy!
Speaking of sleepovers: who's down for face masks, '90s chick flicks and wine night? This girl.
8. Give your friends all the hugs.
Hug your friends, love your friends and let them know they're loved.
9. When he breaks her heart.... kill him.
I would never recommend murder but if he ruins her life, ruin his but in a better fashion. Leaked her nudes? Sue for defamation of image and non-consensual porn. Cheated? Let's see if the other woman knows she's "the other woman." Blocks you on social media? Let's see if his mom knows how he treats women.*
*Please don't spend your whole life obsessed with getting revenge especially if you are unable to get revenge. I've had first-hand experiences with karma and she drives a double-decker bus.
10. And if you have an extra tampon, help a sista out!
Sweeter words have never been spoken.