10 Things Your Bisexual Friend is Tired of Hearing

10 Things Your Bisexual Friend Is Tired Of Hearing

A PSA from your local bisexual.

201
views

Bisexuality is defined as "sexually attracted not exclusively to people of one particular gender; attracted to both men and women". It is stood for by the B in LGBTQIA+ and is usually a dismissed sexuality, along with pansexuality and asexuality.

As someone who identifies as bisexual, I thought I would use this platform to share the most common misconceptions bisexuals hear.

Remember: why be racist, sexist, homophobic, or transphobic, when you could just be quiet?

1. Are you sure you aren’t just fully gay?

Giphy

Yes, I'm sure. Contrary to popular belief, you don't have to pick just one type to be attracted to. Sexuality is a spectrum, and there are no rules at all.

2. That’s hot.

Giphy

My sexuality is not your fantasy. Period.

3. Just pick one!

Giphy

That's not how sexuality works. You can't choose who you want to be attracted to, it just happens.

4. You’re just doing it for attention.

Giphy

Nope! I'm out and proud because I want to be. I'm will always authentically be myself and if you don't enjoy that then stop paying attention to me. There is no reason for me to hide a part of myself for others.

5. How do you know you like the same sex if you’ve only been with people of the opposite sex?

Giphy

Sexuality doesn't mean you have to have sex with someone to know if you like them. You can be attracted to anyone you want!

6. So you’re only half gay?

Giphy

That's actually not how that works at all. We're apart of the LGBTQIA+, community just like everyone else.

7. Do you want to have a threesome?

Giphy

AGAIN, my sexuality is not your fantasy. Just because I like girls does not mean I want to have sex with everyone.

8. You’re so lucky, I hate men!

Giphy

That probably has something to do with your shitty choices in relationships, not your sexuality, but okay.

9. Are boys or girls a better kisser?

Giphy

It doesn't depend on the gender, it depends on the person.

10. But don’t you have a boyfriend?

Giphy

Being bisexual doesn't mean I am not fully committed to my relationship. Just because I also like the same sex does not mean I will not take my heterosexual relationship seriously.

Popular Right Now

People Forget There Is More Than One Type Of Attraction

Sexual attraction is not the only attraction
23736
views

One of things I find myself explaining to people most often is the differences between the different types of attraction. Many people I encounter are not aware that there are different ways to be attracted to another person. This fact is disappointing, but is also says a lot about ignorance in our society. Because some believe that attraction is just one, black and white thing, there are many who don’t know how some relationships work within diverse orientations. It leaves room for confusion concerning asexuals, aromantics, and many other underrepresented groups. I’m the sort of person who doesn’t mind explaining things to people, but because there is so little accessible information on human attractions, I decided that it would be a good topic to write about.

1. Sexual Attraction

Sexual attraction: The desire for possible sexual intercourse with another individual

I listed this attraction first because there are people out there who believe that this is the only human attraction. There are other attractions, and other qualities in general, that go into human relationships. Sexual attraction is difficult to pin down because it is not the same thing as sex drive or how one feels about sex in general (both which are common misconceptions). When someone is heterosexual or straight, that just means that they are attracted to the opposite sex. When someone is homosexual or gay or lesbian, that just means that they are attracted to the same sex. When someone is asexual, that means that they are not sexually attracted to any sex. What all sexualities have in common, though, is that their sexuality says nothing about their sex life or sex drive. There are heterosexuals and homosexuals who do not enjoy sex as much as others. And just because someone is asexual, it doesn’t meant that they are sex repulsed. Sexual attraction is not equal to habits and preferences.

2. Romantic Attraction

Romantic attraction: The desire for a possible romantic relationship with another individual

There is not a lot of thought put into the idea of romantic attraction, and yet, it is very important. Because asexuals, gray-sexuals, and demisexuals do not feel sexual attraction at all or right away, the focus on romantic attraction is important. If one understands sexual attraction, then it is easy to understand romantic attraction. It is the same premise, the only difference is is that sexual feelings are then replaced with romantic (non-sexual) feelings. If the same prefixes are used from the last example, then a heteromantic would be attracted to the opposite sex, a homoromantic would be attracted to the same sex, and an aromntic would not be attracted to any sex.

3. Physical/Sensual Attraction

Physical/sensual attraction: The desire to non-sexually touch another person

There is no orientation for this and the last couple attractions, but they are still important in understanding who we are attracted to. When you are physically attracted to someone, you may be willing to hug, kiss, cuddle, or touch them and be touched in other non-sexual ways. This sort of attraction is not exclusive to sexual and romantic relationships. Sensuality can be seen in friendships, among family members, and in other platonic relationships.

4. Emotional Attraction

Emotional attraction: The desire to be emotionally open with another person

Like physical/sensual attraction, emotional attraction can be seen in limitless examples of relationships. This attraction explains why some people are more emotionally open with other people. Your emotional attractions show who you are willing to connect to, open up to, and share personal details with. Some people are more emotionally attracted to other people than others. Like other attractions, the levels of attractions vary from person to person.

5. Aesthetic Attraction

Aesthetic attraction: Appreciating the way another person looks

This is usually confused with physical attraction. The difference between the two, though, is physical attraction involves the want to touch somebody whereas aesthetic attraction does not necessarily involve the want to touch another person. The best way to understand this is by thinking in terms or art. If you are at an art gallery, you can look at a piece of art and appreciate the way it looks. You understand that it is visually appealing but you have no desire to touch it. Through aesthetic attraction, you can have this experience with another person. Though in terms of humans, this attraction can go hand in hand with other attractions. All the other attractions discussed can also be pared with each other. It is important to remember that, although complex, attraction is fluid. The ways we experience relationships are diverse and can change through a lifetime.

Cover Image Credit: http://www.westmetrokidsdental.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/02/iStock_000028258802Large-4.jpg

Related Content

Connect with a generation
of new voices.

We are students, thinkers, influencers, and communities sharing our ideas with the world. Join our platform to create and discover content that actually matters to you.

Learn more Start Creating

How I Came To The Realization That I Was Bi

Sometimes you don't always know who you are, but when you know, YOU KNOW.

13
views

Growing up, I knew that I liked boys and I never had to question that. I remember my first crush, my teen heartthrobs, and even my odd obsession with Brendan Fraser. Maybe it was because I thought that was what I was "supposed" to feel. When you are a little girl, you are constantly asked what boy you had a crush on or if you had a boyfriend. It's like society is embedding in you at a young age that you have only one option.

It wasn't until I got to college that I started to question whether boys were my only choice. It started off like most cliche college movies do, with a party. I saw a girl kiss another girl and I was jealous. I wanted that to be me and I didn't know why. I always thought that girls were pretty but I never thought anything more of it. I never tried to think anything more of it, because I didn't think it was a possibility. Not until that night. You see, you never think something is possible for you until you see people like you doing that thing.

I found my eyes lingering on girls a little bit longer than usual and truly admiring them as I did boys before. At parties, I would make out with girls just for "fun," because that's what everyone did. That was until finally, I met a girl that seemed to really like me. I pursued her, thinking that she actually was interested in me. It was exciting and I was feeling a way that I never felt before. Then after a while, she told me she wasn't really gay and I felt heartbroken, betrayed even. I've never felt the sting of unrequited feelings from a girl before. I knew then that I was bi. I knew that what I felt was real and a few days later, I told my friends and then I told my mom. It felt as though I was finally sure of who I was and what was possible for me in life.

I still struggled with figuring out who I was after that and constantly found myself sliding up and down the sexuality spectrum. Though as a grew older, I realized that it's okay to be bi. It's okay to feel whatever I am feeling because that is me and I am just fine the way I am.

Related Content

Facebook Comments