Why We Spend Time Doing What We Don't Like
There are four reasons why we don't do what we want; if we don't fight them, fear, the habit of complicating everything, and other reasons will always get in the way of fulfilling our desires.
There are four reasons why we don't do what we want. If we don't fight them, fear, the habit of complicating everything, and other reasons will always get in the way of fulfilling our desires.
The question, "Why doesn't a person do it?" is tricky. Usually, the answer is that they don't know what to do or how to do it. But today, search engines give hundreds of ideas and tips for most "I want" queries, from losing weight to finding a calling. If everything is so simple, then why not just do it?
The problem lies in willingness.
How to awaken it? It's a different question.
There are many reasons why people, even those with powerful motivation, manage to stay in one place and spend time doing what they don't like. Below are my thoughts on that, and I hope they'll help you move forward.
1) We don't know where to start
It is the first question that should arise when we have any desire. I'm not talking about "it would be nice to do," but about something we want to do.
People are two types here: "if" and "when." The first group comes up with a thousand conditions to start, while the second group sets a deadline for completion.
If a person asks the "Where do I start?" question in time, the process will start moving forward. If you want to become an artist, sign up for classes today, and buy paints and canvas tomorrow. A person doesn't want to take minimal actions to realize their desire only if they didn't want it in the first place.
As the Chinese proverb says, "A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step." Always.
2) We don't know how to prioritize
Okay, you know where to start. For example, you want to lose weight and decide to start running. What's next? Do you need to buy sneakers, plan to run with a friend, or check the weather forecast?
No.
You need to go outside and run. Like Forrest Gump. Do you remember how it was in the movie?
— Why are you doing this?
— I just felt like running.
When we have a desire and determine the first step, the second, third, fourth, and a couple of alternatives and distracting maneuvers arise in our heads by inertia. Here we get lost and forget what we actually need.
The rule to fight this ailment is simple:
Always complete the first stage of the plan.
Are you going to start running? Put on your sneakers, go outside, and take a couple of laps around your house. I'm serious; do it right now. If you don't like it now, with a full charge of motivation, then why would you suddenly like it later?
Determine your priorities:
Try it, complete it, and then decide what to do next.
3) We are afraid
Bricks of fear build a wall around the comfort zone. "I feel good here, so it must be bad outside." Therefore, we perceive everything new as a threat. And again, people are of two categories here.
The first category is conservatives. They are afraid of changing anything, do not try anything new, and live in their bubble all their lives. It's okay if everything suits them. If a person does not want changes but is still happy and achieves what they want, then more power to them.
The second one is innovators. They are afraid to stop. For them, fear is born in the question, "What if I leave everything as it is?" They are afraid of losing time, health, relationships, etc., and they put in more effort.
In both cases, a person is afraid. But in the first case, fear makes them freeze, and in the second case, it makes them move and change.
Ask yourself, "What if I leave everything as it is?" If the answer satisfies you, congratulations! Now you can go and sign up for the group of happy conservatives. If not, it's time to change something.
4) We complicate everything
The favorite phrase of a person who doesn't want to change anything is, "It's not that simple."
No matter how often I asked for examples of what this "not simple" includes, it was always without results. Each time it turned out that there was an alternative, and one could adjust if one wanted.
Any task broken down into small steps is easier to accomplish. It may seem challenging to lose 10 kg to get in shape, but it isn't a problem to spend 15 minutes a day exercising and eliminating refined sugar from the diet.
I agree that there are situations when it's not us who complicate everything, but the circumstances turn out tough. In that case, ask yourself, "How can I simplify everything?" I don't believe that there won't be any alternative.
And then it all comes down to the well-known expression:
"There are no bad options, but only options we don't like."
Of course, these reasons aren't exhaustive. I highlighted those that I saw and met in my life. I hope they will help you avoid my mistakes.
After all, as Mae West said, "You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough."
