Dismantling the standard of romantic relationships in college and why they are not everything they are made out to be
This is a response to Stop Trying To Force Yourself Into A Relationship In College, You're Better Off Alone
After reading the article about how a relationship in college does not need to be the norm, I decided to write a response because my thoughts aligned with its premise.
Coming into college after not being in a relationship in high school seriously tampers the view of relationships for people. As college widens the dating pool, people start to think that a relationship is the next step in their growth as individuals, not realizing the big strides they are already making by entering college.
Coming into college is a massive leap on its own and people often discredit that by jumping into relationships as soon as they enter college. Understandably, people meet more people than ever before in college and sometimes, they strike a connection with one another and choose to be romantically committed to each other. Although this choice is fair in its culmination, the amount of people who jump to make this decision in college is a phenomenon worth studying on its own.
The independence that people gain in college is a form of growth and development that is introduced to them for the first time, for most people. This independence is lonely and it's scary but it's also necessary in order for you to discover yourself. The version of yourself in college is someone you have never met before and it’s important that you understand that version, and yourself, before you commit yourself to something as foreign as a relationship in college.
I’m not saying that this is the case for every college relationship out there because there are certainly the ones that work and are healthy. Although, at the same time, the number of people getting into relationships in college as soon as possible is not something to gloss over. The most important relationship in your life is the one you have with yourself. The relationship that you have to yourself, as well as your commitment to yourself is so easily neglected when people get romantically involved in college at the drop of a hat.
I understand that sometimes you find yourself comparing your situation to those that are in romantic relationships already. Or, you wonder when it will be your turn. Those insecurities are all fair and come from a place of hurt but in that hurt, you have the ability to rise above and understand that when it's your turn it will come. For now, perhaps focus on building the best version of yourself.
College is also about being lonely, doing things by yourself and building yourself up.