Ladies, Stop Trying To Teach Boys How To Be Your Man If They're Not Even Men In The First Place
It is your job to love him. But it is not your job to teach him how to love you back.
I see. this way too often, honestly it upsets me and breaks my heart. It breaks my heart when I see a girl begging her boyfriend to put her on her Snapchat story. It breaks my heart when I see a girl begging her boyfriend to get off a video game and spend time with her. It breaks my heart when I see a girl doodling on a napkin at the dinner table and her boyfriend is on his phone and hasn't even looked up at her once. These things break my heart because this girl, whoever she may be, maybe it is you? She deserves a man. What she has though, is a boy. And before you say anything, yes, there is a huge difference.
I was that girl once. I begged and begged my ex-boyfriend all the time to put me on his Snapchat story. You may be reading this and be thinking "Wow she's a little attention seeking." No, that is not it at all. A simple act of being posted about made me feel special, loved, missed at times, and served as reassurance and a word of affirmation for me. Do you want to know something silly? Maybe you've done it too. Sometimes I would do something crazy to get his attention. Something funny, and silly and random just so he would post me on his story and I wouldn't have to ask.
At the dinner table, I was that girl that while he was on his phone I was sliding him notes on a napkin saying "I love you" or "Hi" or funny jokes to get his full and undivided attention.
At home, I was the girl that used to literally throw myself at him while he was playing video games to try and get him to press pause for two minutes and pay attention to me and have a conversation with me.
You see, I was that girl. But I refuse to ever be that girl again. If you are that girl, stop what you're doing.
It is your job to love him. But it is not your job to teach him how to love you back.
There is a big difference between a boy and a man. Contrary to what society may believe most boys don't actually turn into men until they are almost 40. Scary for us girls right? But here's the kicker and to be honest it has nothing to do with age.
Any boy that is in the process of becoming a man and maturing is going to know how to treat a woman. He is not going to choose video games or his phone over you. He is going to post you everywhere all the time because he wants to show you off to the world and make you feel special. He isn't going to ever leave you wondering.
The list could really go on comparing and contrasting the differences between a boy and a man but the important ones to remember when you are in a relationship are:
1. A boy thinks "me." A man thinks "us"
2. A boy gives false promises. A man honors his commitments (one being you.)
3. A boy cares about how you look in jeans. A man cares about how you look in his future.
4. You will always wonder how a boy feels about you. You will always know how a man feels about you.
All too often I see girls in the act of this. It is almost like they are training a dog or raising a child. They order them around and become demanding when it comes to doing things that make them feel special, validated and reassured. Granted, they are doing this because their relationship is lacking something but the truth is, it shouldn't be lacking something in the first place.
You are dating a boy not a man. I hate to break that to you. I really do. It's the hardest news you'll ever receive. Why? Well because
You can't fix him, you can't teach him, and you can't change a boy into a man. They have to do it on their own
Actual candid photo of my date and me before prom. We both had girlfriends at the time. He's still an awesome human, and this is still my favorite pic from that night. Photo credit: Author
