10 Ways To Spot The True Difference Between 'Just A Boy' And 'A Real Man'

10 Ways To Spot The True Difference Between 'Just A Boy' And 'A Real Man'

"BE A MAN" — Mulan

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A few months ago my grandfather asked if I was dating anyone and I responded, "No, I haven't had much luck with the boys these days", his response was, "Well, then wait till you meet a man".

For some crazy and strange reason, I tended to be interested in the guys that "acted too cool for school", because I saw it as a fun challenge to break through that hard exterior. The second shocking tidbit, which was much to my surprise after breaking through that exterior, you're still dealing with the same guy, aka a boy.

The following are 10 ways to help you tell the difference between a boy and a man.

1. A boy talks, a man communicates.

2. A boy is intimidated by your accomplishments, a man is inspired by them.

3. Boys makes excuses, men make plans.

4. A boy thinks he has all the answers, a man realizes he still has a lot to learn.

5. A boy is posessive, a man is protective.

6. A boy wants one to please him, a man wants to please THE one.

7. A boy says how much he cares, a man lives it everyday.

8. A boy thinks about what he's gonna say next, a man listens.

9.A boy looks at a girl as fun for the night, a man knows he's looking at his future.

10. A boy is concerned about you always being comfortable, a man doesn't let you give up on your dreams.

To all the men that helped me write this, thank you for setting such a high example. Showing me that you shouldn't lower your standards, but a man will rise to the occasion.

To the boys who helped me write this, thank you and I hope this helps, once you're a man, you'll be lucky enough to deserve an amazing woman, who should treat you with all the same respect and maturity. This isn't to put down the past boys in my life, they are after all just boys, and you can't expect them to be something they are not. I just hope the right woman comes along to help them be the man they have the potential to be, that just won't be me.

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Open Letter To The Boy Who Didn't Appreciate Me

I know, now, that what I have to offer is for someone who realizes just how spectacular I really am.
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Dear You,

You didn't give me enough credit. I put you on a pedestal; I praised you for everything you did right, and even when you did wrong, I still thought you were the greatest.

You see, I know what it's like to appreciate what is in front of me. I have loved, and I have lost. And when I found you and got to know what was deep down inside you, I began to fall for that. But that's not who you were. That's the person you wanted to be.

You wear a mask every day. You put on a big show for everyone around you. Well done! You have them convinced. But me? Not so much. I challenged you to really think about the person you wanted to be. The person you don't show to others. And for a while, you were that person for me. I got your best. And it was wonderful.

But when you were done putting in the effort to treat me with respect and love, it went downhill. When you stopped cherishing the time spent and the deep conversations shared, you resented me. You resented how I made you think further than your comfort zone. You resented how much time of yours I took. You resented the effort it took to be a better person for me. You resented my emotional nature and the huge heart God blessed me with. And it was hurtful.

But that's what I love about myself. I am not easily won over, or impressed. I don't want to settle for mediocre or half your best, I want rawness and wholeness. I want vulnerability. I want someone who isn't afraid to shout the way they feel about me. I want someone who is able to recognize I am a prize. I want someone to appreciate that I have opinions and I am a free thinking individual. I want someone to reciprocate the neverending love I have to give.

I am not a brainless individual. I am an intelligent being, with opinions and thoughts on the world around me. I am a loving and giving person. Always accepting, always patient, always generous. My love is rare. Mostly because I love without conditions. And you won't find that just anywhere.

My emotions were never yours to toy with. I trusted that you would take good care of me. I gave you some of the most precious pieces of me, but you played me for a fool. You left me unsatisfied with a broken heart and nothing to show for the time we spent together.

But I have come to terms with the truth. What I had to offer was much too great for what you were willing to give back. You were not ready for what I was able to provide for you. It frightened you. I wanted to grow with you. I wanted to learn with you. I wanted to build you up, pamper you, shower you in love. But then again, you showed me you weren't worthy. I had to pull myself up from my boot-straps, and move on.

I know, now, that what I have to offer is for someone who realizes just how spectacular I really am. And that was never you.

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Ladies, You Can Do Better Than The Guy Who Tells You You're 'Too High Maintenance'

No matter the situation, follow your gut and don't ignore the signs that he isn't the one. There is nothing wrong with you, he just needs to work on himself. The right guy is out there, and you are worthy of love. Good things take time.

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This goes out to all of the girls right now who are questioning their own worth, because of a guy who just doesn't know what an amazing girl he has in front of him. You are so much more than a hookup and you deserve so much better.

You are better than that, and deserve better than to be treated any less than the princess you are.

In today's society, us women have been so accustomed to being mistreated by men, and it has got to stop. This is most prevalent to me in the realm of dating in college. Time and time again I have heard stories about the guys who want the benefits of a girlfriend, without the label. They will get what they want, and after they get it, the effort stops.

It is not fair to go out of your way for someone who doesn't even want or hasn't even put a label on something. Playing hard to get is a concept that seems to have been forgotten in this day in age because of the fear that if you play hard to get, you will lose the guy because you are "too high maintenance" and are "asking for too much."

This is just utterly false.

You are not asking for too much, but asking to be treated with the respect you deserve and if a guy is not willing to make you feel like a priority, and not play childish games like only texting at 3 a.m. to hookup, or when its convenient for him.

Nothing will change unless we take steps to ensure it does.

It is time that if someone is not treating you like a priority, do not go out of your way to make them one. Men will go after what they want, and what they find important to go after, and handing them the benefits of having a girlfriend, without having them work for it will lead to nothing but heartbreak.

The sad truth is that the nice guys that would treat us right, are often friend-zoned because we just do not know how to handle someone treating us with respect and not coming onto us like we are used to. For some reason, we like to go after the guys who just don't seem to care, because for some reason we think he will change for us, and the sad truth is he won't. If he is ignoring texts, not wanting to bring you around his friends, not wanting to post anything about you, or only wants to hang out alone or at night...run.

Go find someone who will put the effort in, and hey, it might just be the guy you were quick to put in the friend zone.

So its time to become unavailable sometimes, to leave them on read and to realize when it is time to just walk away. There is nothing wrong with walking away from a situation that is not mutually beneficial. By nature, men are hunters, which mean they enjoy the chase, and if they don't have to chase anymore, they won't — and it's the sad truth.

They will most often than not, want to come back into your life once you are already gone, and running back to them is often the first instinct. But remember the reason you walked away, and be strong enough to stick with that decision.

Your college years are the best years of your life and you should never let a guy come between you and your happiness. It is easier said than done to walk away from someone you have feelings for, but letting them mistreat you just isn't worth it. Your time is valuable in general and don't waste your energy. Being lonely could very well be the reason why people settle for less, because the concept of any attention, is better than no attention, is what is gone after.

It is OK to be alone. It might be hard but isn't that better than crying over someone who leaves you questioning yourself and the decision you made to put so much effort into them.

Use this time to focus on yourself and better yourself, for you. No one will love you until you love yourself, and once you have established self-love, you will settle for nothing less than you deserve. A good guy is worth the wait, even if the people around you are in relationships or it is "cuffing" season.

No matter the situation, follow your gut and don't ignore the signs that he isn't the one

There is nothing wrong with you, he just needs to work on himself

The right guy is out there, and you are worthy of love.

Good things take time.

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