There was large stretch of time in my young life — two years, if not more — when I was searching for something that I could never seem to find. I looked everywhere — in bars, on apps, in class — but never found what I needed.

It began as a search for the ideal person, which was a mistake on my part, but at this moment I had no idea what I was doing. I searched like this for a year and met people and started to figure out more about myself. Slowly I discovered it was much less about the ideal than it was about my stubbornness. There is no such thing as the ideal person. We are all imperfect and that’s just dictated in our nature and aesthetic.

So, another six months go by and I’m still looking, still searching but this time I know better than to look for my ideal. I’m searching with a different mindset, one that not many search with. One that involves me filtering out the empty, unrealistic expectations I always set for myself. I’m sick of feeling empty inside and want to break out, meet someone who can change my world, who understands me and my character. Someone who appreciates me, for me.

It’s always surprised me how much loneliness can affect us. How it takes a toll on certain people. Toward the end of this six months I make a very drastic change, I decide to stop looking. I decide to end my search and to continue on letting my heart beat in its own unique way. A gentle rhythm that’s quiet, barely audible and me wishing that someone will eventually hear it’s soft rhythmic hymn.

Six more months go by and it’s the dead of winter. With the air being as dead calm as it is, my hope is that my unique heartbeat will be carried farther away from me…maybe someone will hear it.

One day I decide to start searching again. I message someone and meet this person two weeks later. We go for a walk around town and talk about our futures and the weather. At the end of the walk, we continue talking for hours, mostly in puns. We both laugh, smile and then it’s two in the morning and I tell her that I have to leave. As I go to leave I hear something very faint; it sounds like my heartbeat but with a more distinct finale.

I start seeing this girl more and more and I eventually ask her to be my girlfriend. A peculiar thing starts to happen when I see her. I hear both of our hearts beat but it’s synchronized. I look into her eyes and I see beauty, intelligence and kindness. I hear both of our rhythms and realize how long I had spent looking for her. The ironic part is I had to stop looking in order to find her. Every day I realize how truly lucky I am to have her in my life.

Sometimes it feels like you’re alone on this planet, and then you find someone and your heartbeats begin to sync. You feel an incredible rush of emotion all at once and you wonder how you lived life without this person this entire time. No matter what happens, you know that you and this person have made history together. Founded something so unique that your two rhythms will never be heard from again on this planet. You’ve left your mark together. I can tell after all this searching, that’s what legitimate love feels like.