Real dating is dying, and so are our phone batteries.
When our parents were growing up, video had just killed the radio star. Now for us, Tinder is killing dating. I first made a tinder when I got to college. I had just recently broken up with a guy back home, and I was looking for a way to move on fast (0/10 do not recommend doing this) and a friend mentioned how many matches she had on tinder. It seemed to be a fun and easy way to 1. pass time and 2. Meet some honeys.
It seemed like I was off to a great start; several matches and messages from them too. I felt reassurance, and it gave me a mild confidence boost any time I got a notification. For my first few months of use, I used it as a joke. My friends and I would compare how many matches we all had, and if we had any mutual matches. It was a way to pass time, and procrastinate with schoolwork.
Eventually I matched with a guy, and got to know him (a little too well, honestly. #SorryDad) It actually seemed like it could end up being something. My ice cold heart was thawed out by the flame that is tinder’s logo. But, of course, he wasn’t the prince charming to my “tinderella”- he was the evil stepmother.
I spent many nights crying myself to sleep, and I consumed at least half of my body weight in cookie dough and Chick Fil A to eat away the sadness. I eventually realized it was his loss, and ended back up on tinder looking for the next antagonist for the story that is my love life.
After many, many, many (seriously so many) failed attempts at finding something of meaning on tinder, I sat back and realized why I was unsatisfied. I realized that the problem lied a lot more than with the guys I was meeting. It had to do with the way Tinder (and other dating apps like it) have ruined dating for us. Here are my 3 reasons I believe Tinder has damaged our ideas of dating.
- Romance is a thing of the past
Tinder has really distorted the idea of romance. What tinder matches deem as “romantic” usually involves a cheesy pick up line (usually something with sexual undertones) or a gif of a puppy. It’s almost as if dating isn’t actually dating anymore. Romantic evenings went from a nice stroll in the park to “Netflix and Chill” being the most romantic thing to happen between two people. Being in an actual relationship these days seems to be more taboo than anything. Dating used to mean ACTUAL dates; now people assume dating=sex, and that is just something I, and Taylor Swift, cannot stand for.
2. People are more accessible than they should be
Remember the Drake and Josh episode where they had to work the sushi conveyor belt?
Imagine the sushi is all the profiles that come up near you. You’re Drake and Josh. On a good day I could go through at least 30 profiles in one sitting. It’s slightly unsettling how disposable people really are when it comes to instant gratification applications such as tinder. If it doesn’t work out as planned with one match, you have 300 others to choose from. We have our own personal people banks and we can choose to withdraw just by shooting them a quick “hey.” People are readily available at your fingertips, and that just seems strange.
3. No genuinity
There is no real human connection on apps like Tinder, it’s all through a phone. We are the generation of social awkwardness and Tinder makes that very clear. Instead of approaching someone out in public, we have to turn to using our phones as a crutch to meet people. There is no genuine connection between two people anymore, and that makes it much harder to develop a relationship with someone else. There is absolutely no real effort needed to make someone swoon over you, just have good pictures, a clever bio, and a list of go-to pick up lines.
Of course, these are just my 3 opinions about why Tinder is patient zero in the dating apocalypse. Tinder has managed to distort everyone’s view on dating and relationships. Hook up culture is more prevalent than ever. If you’re into that sort of thing, swipe your little heart away. But for those of you who want to have a real relationship… listen to Dora and Boots.
