Sometimes things don't always go the way we plan and that's something that I've come to learn in my first semester in college. Coming into college I assumed that I'd be able to maintain my high GPA from high school while balancing a social life, a sorority and all the other things that living on your own with your new best friends bring.
I moved into school thinking that my roommate and I would live together all of freshmen year and even if we weren't best friends we would at least be able to get along. Instead, I was granted the roommate from hell itself and she ended up leaving after 17 days. Living alone in a dorm room for over a month was a really strange and lonely experience. Coming back after classes and wanting to share the stories of my day with someone but instead, I had nothing but an empty mattress.
After almost a month and a half, I met another girl whose roommate had also moved out the very beginning of the school year so we decided to live together. Honestly, thank goodness for Torrey. Even though not having a roommate for a while was a disaster and so was moving across campus, it's nice knowing that there was a sweet ending.
One of the bigger disasters this semester has probably been my grades but oddly enough I've gotten to a point where I know that I did the best I could with what I had. I didn't come to college with the unrealistic expectation of keeping the 3.8 I got my senior year but I still expected to do a lot better than I did.
The classes that I decided to take this year were some of the hardest classes that I've ever taken. Never in my life have I slaved over papers and studied over the span of a week for an exam just to get back failing grades after failing grades. I attended study sessions and office hours and my grades improved slightly but not to the level that I had hoped for.
While both of these things were majorly disappointing I've come to accept the fact that not everything is going to go the way that I want it to or that I plan it to. For those of you that follow my writing often you've read about how being re-diagnosed with depression has made this semester a lot more difficult for me.
While depression is not an excuse to throw away the goals and plans that I had for college, it is something that I have to work through it. Although my grades may have been lower than normal this semester: I have learned a lot about self-love and how to be kind with myself this semester and I'm proud of that.
