How To Swear Without Swearing | The Odyssey Online
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How To Swear Without Swearing

Become flipping fantastic at swearing without offending anyone.

Molly Noterman
Jun 21, 2016
Winona State University
1504
How To Swear Without Swearing
Entrepreneur

Living on your own opens up numerous opportunities which can range from choosing your own bedtime without judgment or to eating junk food all day, every day. You may even decide to start string together sentences that contain more swear words than what could come out of a trucker's mouth. While it's all fun and games for awhile, eventually you'll spend time around your parents again or get a job with small children in which it would be frowned upon to repeatedly drop the f bomb. I'm here to save your behind (not that other word you're used to using) and offer up some alternative words and phrases.

For insults and name calling:

1. Lint licker!

2. You fool of a Took!

3. Son of a dishwasher (watch "Robots" and you'll get it)!

4. Idiot.

5. Communist!

6. You dip!

7. You lying piece of trash!

8. Donald Trump!


For exclamations:

9. Blast!

10. Double blast!

11. Blast and drat!

12. Dag nab it!

13. Shucks!

14. Darn it!

15. Mother trucker!

16. Aw, fudgesicles!

17. I'm going to beat you with a stick!


When in doubt:

Go with unintelligible muttering. Imagine those cartoon characters with the overlapping lines drawn above their heads.

Create your own:

Just about every swear word has a harsh "ch," "sh," or "ck" sound. To avoid frowned upon language, try building your very own arsenal of fake cusses using those very same sounds!

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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