“If there is anything I have learned in this past year, it is to genuinely appreciate everyone’s personal experiences, and to do so without prejudice,” my cousin tells me at a family dinner.

I could not agree more.

Even in the simple guest room of our aunt’s house where we always sat during family reunions, the plethora of experiences that each person possessed lit up the house. Sitting in that room with my tween, teen, and twenty to thirty-year-old cousins, I felt a completeness and ease that I now equate with ‘family.’ For a while, however, ill fortune seemed to plague us all, and we had not seen each other in a long time. Prior to this slump in communication within our family, we met each month, but I never really enjoyed it, for our closed-mindedness made gatherings unbearable.

But here we were and I loved it. One had finished college, another back from a trip to Mexico, I, fresh off the plane from far away studies and a small one who was in the midst of searching for himself. We were all at different points in our development and learning and yet had convened at the same location. Over the laughter from sharing our stories from the latest expeditions, it registered in my mind how much we had changed. In fact, even my view of our family had changed – the shattered and pieced parts of my extended family finally fit together. While a couple years ago, we would have already left by this time, tonight we were able to sustain a conversation that explored the human condition, quantum physics, and the beauty of travelling.

Why the change?

It was our maturity. Some claim to hate growing up because this maturity forces them to face the unpleasant reality; they yearn for ignorant bliss and the indomitable feeling of success of childhood. That oblivion may be beautiful indeed, but seeing where my cousins were in terms of their lives and personal growths opened my eyes to the road of possibilities I had before me – for better or worse. Seeing them develop into the adults they are today, I am prepared to further my horizons, as well.

Now, I know that I have control over the person I will mold myself into, and won’t sacrifice anything to actually do what I love. Their active guidance, relative youth, and concern for me have given me a whole new meaning of “extended family." I am on a journey to become my own, independent, individual, and I know that my relatives will always support me if I ever fall, and vice versa.

This much I walked away with that night: If you calculate our time used, there just isn’t enough time to waste doing something you don’t love. It is because of them that I am so excited to spend the next chapter of my life carrying out my passion for science, literature, and travel.

But until then, I await the next dinner party.